“Yeah, it’ll be fine. The security guards aren’t even gonna notice anyone’s here,” He shook his head as he hopped over the fence of the Tooker Avenue playground.
I stretched my pocketbook over the fence, “Can you hold this?”
He grinned and shook his head, yet took the bag.
My hands gripped tightly around the cold, silver fence. I pushed myself upwards and then gracefully twirled over. I landed hard on my feet as Adam handed me back my bag.
He started walking up the dirty, tan slide as I latched onto the yellow, metal ladder. I climbed up to the top of the jungle gym and leaned against a vertical metal, yellow bar and slid down.
I adjusted my short, denim skirt and zipped up my Slytherin sweatshirt. I shoved my hands into my pockets. It may have been July, and the air was warm, but the summer breeze was cool.
He appeared to my left and slunk down parallel to me.
I stared up at the purple night sky. The clouds were black, but there was one star, shining brightly, directly overhead.
“I read your book from tenth grade,” He finally said.
“Oh, and?”
“It’s pretty good,”
“It’s written horribly,” I shook my head, “I like the storyline of it, but it’s so poorly written. I mean, I was only fifteen when I wrote it.”
“Yeah, no, it’s really not that bad,” He, too, gazed up at the sky, “The only thing that was weird was how the main guy was like ‘no, I don’t like drinking’, like no teenager is like that…”
I turned to him, my gaze sharp, “I’m like that.”
He briefly looked at me, grinned, and then turned back to the sky, “Well, you’re weird.”
I smiled, “Thanks.”
We were silent for a moment.
And then he spoke, “Gwen said you needed to tell me something…”
I kept looking straight ahead, “Gwen said you needed to tell me something.”
“Just say it,”
“You go first,”
“Violet,” He turned and looked at me, “Please. I need to hear you say it.”
I continued to stare at the bright star overhead.
“I don’t know,”
“Violet, please say it,” He said gently.
“It’s just that,” I began to say, “I mean, I feel like, I don’t know…I feel…I just….I think that…”
“Violet,” His voice was soft.
“It’s just that I feel like no matter what,” I choked on my words, “I’m just always going to love you. And I know I shouldn’t, and I know we’re just way too dysfunctional together, but I just can’t help it. And I know things are difficult because I’m going away to college and college is supposed to be a new beginning and a new life, and I know we have so many problems, but I don’t know, I just can’t help feeling like this.”
“Oh,” He said. I still didn’t look over at him. “You know, I’ve actually been feeling like that for a while too.”
I finally looked over at him, “Like what?”
He met my gaze, “Like I still love you.”
“Oh,” I said as we both turned back to the sky.
He heavily sighed, “Why do you have to make things so difficult?”
I stared down at my feet. I honestly didn’t know. I didn’t know why I had to be so difficult. I knew that in college I was supposed to experience new people – people who wouldn’t cause me so many problems. And I knew that me and Adam were beyond problematic and would never be able to work. I knew that college was my chance to find someone new so we both could be happy and each have problem-free easy relationships, like normal people.
But why did I currently want nothing more than to spend my life with Adam?
He spoke again, “Where do you wanna go before you die?”
I titled my head back up to the sky. It was a random question, but beyond romantic.
I thought for a moment, “Paris. You know, in a past life, I was French aristocracy beheaded during the Reign of Terror… but I wasn’t anyone important. I was just like the King’s niece or something.”
He looked at me and smiled, almost as if to say: “you would…”
I turned to him, “What about you?”
He looked back to the sky, “I wanna see the sunrise on the top of Mount Everest. I know it’s a cliché, but I just always thought it’d be cool. But I don’t think I’d ever actually do it?”
“Why not?”
“It’s like a two month trek to the top and back with like little oxygen and food; it’s crazy.”
“Well, you should do it if that’s what you really want,”
He shrugged, “Maybe someday, I don’t know.”
He got up and hung his arms on the arc of the metal, yellow ladder. He turned around and faced me.
I stood up and walked over to him.
I smiled, “What are you doing?”
He narrowed his eyes, “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Falling,” I grinned as I lightly pushed him.
He smirked and completely let go and crashed down on the bed of brown woodchips beneath him.
“Ugh, I’m dead,” He smiled as he stuck his tongue out of his mouth.
“You’re so lame,” I giggled.
“What? I can’t hear you; I’m dead,” He muttered from the ground.
I jumped down and stood above him.
“Well, if you’re dead, I guess you won’t mind me kicking you,” I shrugged as I jabbed my foot into his side.
He sat up and glared at me, “Alright, enough of that.”
I giggled, “Oh, I thought you were dead,”
His smile grew, “You can shut up now,”
“Mmmhmm,” I said as I turned around and climbed up the ladder. I sat down at the top and swung my feet back and forth, bashing them against the poles to create a ringing noise.
Adam stood up and started swinging on a nearby wobbly-bridge thing, “Why must you make that noise?”
“What noise?” I mused.
He shook his head.
I started hitting the poles harder, making a louder noise.
Adam jumped off the wobbly-bridge and walked over and grabbed my legs to stop them.
He half climbed up the ladder, so his feet were on the third step in-between my legs, and his arms were latched onto the metal bars with me in the middle.
I just looked at him for a moment. In the moonlight, his skin looked really pale. His black, Volcom t-shirt clung-tightly to his muscular chest and his brown hair was slightly messed up – probably due to falling. His brown eyes were soft and full of emotion.
He leaned in. My heart started beating rapidly. My blood was quickly flowing through my veins. Every part of my body was stirring.
And then, when he was less than an inch away, he turned his head. I felt the heat of his body as his head hovered near my neck. There was so much tension flowing between us; I couldn’t take it.
“No, I can’t,” He sighed, “What are we?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He turned back to fully face me, “What are we? Are we together? Are we friends? I can’t take all these feelings I’m having for you.”
I placed my hand an inch above his on the metal bar. I could feel his touch. His hand was so warm; mine was so cold.
I stared at our hands, “Maybe,” I took a heavy breath and turned back to look him straight in the eyes, “Maybe, we just shouldn’t fight it.”
And I guess that was all he needed; he swung his body in closer to mine, and kissed me.
There was so much passion in his kiss. There was so much passion between us.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I felt the heat radiating off of him. I leaned backwards, as he stepped up the rest of the steps and climbed onto the jungle gym…all while still kissing, not wanting our lips to depart for a second.
Deep down I knew that as problematic as we were, this is how things were supposed to be: us, together; because we truly couldn’t exist with each other without being together. Our love really was real, and no matter what, it would always outweigh our mutual hatred of each other.
He pulled away for a second and smiled down at me, “See, I missed this,”
“Making out?” I joked as I sat up.
“No,” He said as he wrapped his warm, muscular arms around my cold body, “Us.”