The road to recovery is a strenuous journey. It’s like taking the road less traveled, only longer.
Doctors say, “Just quit. It’s not healthy. It can kill you.”
Addiction is something that chances are they’ve never had to deal with. They have never had to look at themselves in the mirror, knowing what they were doing is wrong but that they can’t live without it. They were never willing to do something awful and degrading to feed their habits. When people say that marijuana is a gate way drug, it’s not something to scoff at. It’s the cold hard truth.
I can never be a “just say no” mother, I can never be a “sex is sacred” preacher to my children. I can never be the person that can tell their children that she waited for marriage and about how special it was. I was an unfortunate victim to addiction. Many say that addiction is a disease, and it’s wrong. Addiction isn’t a disease it’s a choice. No matter the amount of denial you live with, addiction will always be a choice.
I chose to take that first hit, and my first hit landed me at my first line. When that monster digs its claws into your brain, there is no coming back, at least not willingly. Before long my first line landed at my hundredth line, and doing whatever I could do for money to feed my monster. And before too long I ended up in the hospital for over dosing on coke. No, I can never be a “just say no” mother but I have a story to tell, a story that can hopefully keep my children from making the same mistakes as me.
Waking up next to a strange person you only met the night before with a new bag of powder or rock is the second most degrading feeling in the world. The first? Knowing what you did the night before for that new bag. What can I say? I watched TV, everyone knows that sex sells. No one ever thinks they will fall that far, that they will bow down that deeply for addiction. Little do they know, that behind the façade of the white picket fence society we like to imagine us living in, addiction is lurking and it snatches billions of people into its clutches annually.
You choose to take that first hit, the first plunge, the first line. And no matter how far down the rabbit hole you fall, it’s your choice to feed into the monster. “just say no” is not the right way for anyone to get their point across. If you make the choice to become a drug addict, you better be prepared to sell your soul, and yourself. You better be prepared to wake up one day on your back in the hospital hooked up to a respirator clinging to life. And if you don’t, well then cheers for you, you made it through life with all your brain cells.