I'm Me

July 26, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


I’m used to it by now. How couldn’t I be? The looks, the sneers, whispers you’ve thought I couldn’t hear. Well, I could.

Of course I know I’m different. I’ve lived with myself my whole life—shocker, isn’t it? I would have to have much less intelligence than I possess to not realize how estranged from others I really am.

You pass snide remarks about my clothes. I apologize that I haven’t worn the “in” clothing that you always do, which tends to cut off your circulation. But if it’s popular, and it’s pretty, you decide it’s worth the discomfort. I never thought so.

My mind—it must run on a different station than everyone else’s. Maybe I’m like Bella. I’m on FM while everyone else is on AM. Or maybe I’m just not tuned into the radio at all.

I don’t feel the need to speak the way you do, laugh the way you do, flirt the way you do. I see a guy, and I may note if he looks cute—nothing more. I feel no urge to run up, giggling and flashing to him, and start picking on him in a way that somehow is supposed to indicate that I like him.

Sure, I’m more intelligent than most, perhaps all of you. I can’t help it. I don’t like it. That doesn’t change anything. But the intelligence isn’t really what matters. Yes I thought so, for a while. But there are others who are intelligent, and they get along just fine…no, that’s not it.

It’s me. I see the world differently than you do. And I like the way I see it. I’m not about to change my views because of some of humanity’s strange notions.

Why do you cover yourself in those foul-smelling chemicals and pastes, that make you look more like a piece of art than a human being? I simply don’t see the appeal. You look down on me for this. I really couldn’t care. Must I make my curly brown hair curlier? My bright brown eyes more vivid? My long, dark lashes more emphasized? I don’t see why. I look fine the way I am.

I talk funny. That’s what you always tell me. I talk like an old person. Not really. Just because I choose to use larger words, am I incomprehensible? Doubtful. You just want something else to tease me with. You’ve got it.

No, I’m not a teacher’s pet merely because I answer the questions you seem too busy to care about, or because I speak to them after class occasionally. So what if I’m a writer? It’s really none of your business.

You know what? I used to care. I used to cry. I cry not only when I’m sad, but when I’m angry, did you know that? Of course you didn’t, you never cared enough to find out. But I don’t cry anymore. If my eyes are over-bright, it’s because I’ve just gotten an idea. One that you’ll never have. Or maybe it’s just because I’m comfortable with myself—which is more than you can say.

So I’ll keep my strange clothing, my strange views, my unadorned face, my way of speaking. And if you don’t like it? Too bad.


The author's comments:
This was just venting. Writing is my way of venting. I felt much better after writing this. And every word of it is true.

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This article has 53 comments.


on Aug. 2 2010 at 4:59 am
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

Exactly. BE YOURSELF!!!! If people don't accept you for your personality, they aren't worth your time (and that includes friends as well as boyfriends). I can totally relate to all of this. I learnt that lesson the hard way. I love this article!

on Jul. 30 2010 at 8:38 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Hehe thank ya Angie:DDDVenting=masterpiece.  Who woulda thunk it? Lol.

on Jul. 30 2010 at 8:33 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I like how this venting turned out to be so well. It. Is. A. Masterpiece. <= Oh yes, it is.

The individuality shown in this piece is amazing, I love the fact that you're fine with being yourself and not someone else.

Round of applause, LEXIE DID AN AMAZING JOB ON YET ANOTHER PIECE! :D


on Jul. 29 2010 at 11:54 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Haha thanks Shannon! :D

on Jul. 29 2010 at 11:48 pm
BeautifulRescue GOLD, Olathe, Kansas
16 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you are curious. I can also write a poem about most anything, so if you have a topic you want written about, just ask. :) (I hate the 250 characters thing!)

I've been jumping from the tops of buildings...

And tha's what makes you interesting. Conformity is boring.

on Jul. 29 2010 at 11:21 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Lol, don't worry, I won't hold it against you:D And it is like a thought process, my thought process:D This person is me.

on Jul. 29 2010 at 11:09 pm
BeautifulRescue GOLD, Olathe, Kansas
16 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you are curious. I can also write a poem about most anything, so if you have a topic you want written about, just ask. :) (I hate the 250 characters thing!)

I've been jumping from the tops of buildings...

It's very to the point. Almost like a thought process. I love it :) I know many of the feelings you describe. It is not easy to be different, but once one comes to terms with oneself, then it is possible to find true happiness. (haha, I sound like a fortune cookie)

on Jul. 29 2010 at 6:06 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! :D  Yeah, nonfiction is often pretty relatable.  And I love chocolate too<3

on Jul. 29 2010 at 5:59 pm
SweetChoco71 SILVER, That One City, California
7 articles 2 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have too many favorite quotes. But here's two:
"Just remember that you're unique, just like everybody else."
"Yesterday was history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today's a gift. That's why it's called present!"
Chocolate Rocks!!!

Hey, you asked to read one of your stories and I did and well, WOW! It's so true, I can relate to it.  Amazing :) Chocolate Rocks!!! :D

on Jul. 29 2010 at 5:54 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks!  Haha yeah that was one of my favorite parts too.

Mickee BRONZE said...
on Jul. 29 2010 at 5:48 pm
Mickee BRONZE, Yorktown Heights, New York
4 articles 1 photo 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Erica Albright (Rooney Mara): "You are going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole."

Mark Zuckerberg: "I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try, but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?

"You're not the same as you were before, You were much more...muchier...you've lost your muchness."
I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

I love this! especilly the part about the radio... beautiful!

on Jul. 29 2010 at 4:29 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! I'm glad you were able to relate:D  Although, while my acceptance may also set me apart, I really am different. I don't know why, my sister isn't, I'm just....well, don't want to overuse the word, but I'm different than other people.  I sincerely, honestly believe that my mind works much differently than other people's.

on Jul. 29 2010 at 11:57 am
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I'm glad you simply accepted that you're different. It's tough, but following the crowd while your heart's in a different place is worse. I think, really, everybody is different; they just pretend to be otherwise. Your desire to remain yourself is what sets you apart.

I've been similarly excluded, maybe for different reasons though...



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