Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

I'm Me This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

I’m used to it by now. How couldn’t I be? The looks, the sneers, whispers you’ve thought I couldn’t hear. Well, I could.

Of course I know I’m different. I’ve lived with myself my whole life—shocker, isn’t it? I would have to have much less intelligence than I possess to not realize how estranged from others I really am.

You pass snide remarks about my clothes. I apologize that I haven’t worn the “in” clothing that you always do, which tends to cut off your circulation. But if it’s popular, and it’s pretty, you decide it’s worth the discomfort. I never thought so.

My mind—it must run on a different station than everyone else’s. Maybe I’m like Bella. I’m on FM while everyone else is on AM. Or maybe I’m just not tuned into the radio at all.

I don’t feel the need to speak the way you do, laugh the way you do, flirt the way you do. I see a guy, and I may note if he looks cute—nothing more. I feel no urge to run up, giggling and flashing to him, and start picking on him in a way that somehow is supposed to indicate that I like him.

Sure, I’m more intelligent than most, perhaps all of you. I can’t help it. I don’t like it. That doesn’t change anything. But the intelligence isn’t really what matters. Yes I thought so, for a while. But there are others who are intelligent, and they get along just fine…no, that’s not it.

It’s me. I see the world differently than you do. And I like the way I see it. I’m not about to change my views because of some of humanity’s strange notions.

Why do you cover yourself in those foul-smelling chemicals and pastes, that make you look more like a piece of art than a human being? I simply don’t see the appeal. You look down on me for this. I really couldn’t care. Must I make my curly brown hair curlier? My bright brown eyes more vivid? My long, dark lashes more emphasized? I don’t see why. I look fine the way I am.

I talk funny. That’s what you always tell me. I talk like an old person. Not really. Just because I choose to use larger words, am I incomprehensible? Doubtful. You just want something else to tease me with. You’ve got it.

No, I’m not a teacher’s pet merely because I answer the questions you seem too busy to care about, or because I speak to them after class occasionally. So what if I’m a writer? It’s really none of your business.

You know what? I used to care. I used to cry. I cry not only when I’m sad, but when I’m angry, did you know that? Of course you didn’t, you never cared enough to find out. But I don’t cry anymore. If my eyes are over-bright, it’s because I’ve just gotten an idea. One that you’ll never have. Or maybe it’s just because I’m comfortable with myself—which is more than you can say.

So I’ll keep my strange clothing, my strange views, my unadorned face, my way of speaking. And if you don’t like it? Too bad.



Join the Discussion


This article has 53 comments. Post your own!

darkangle56 said...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 10:57 am:
yes i could do better but im a very gudd writter juss i dnt like tu spell things out all te tyme but i loved chur piece
 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 4:04 pm :
Thanks:D OK.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Iluvmybff said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:43 pm:
I know how you feel. Writing is my way of venting too. Especally helps when things like tht happen to me. Check out some of my work and tell me what you think.
 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:49 pm :
Sure! Thanks.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
singing4ever said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 4:13 pm:
Inspiring, and completely relatable. I think that's how many of us feel here on Teen Ink. Thanks so much for putting this out here.
 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 4:28 pm :
I'm glad you were able to relate:) Thank you.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Brynn said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 6:27 pm:

FINALLY! Someone that agrees with everything I write down and then throw away because I don't want my snooping older sister to see it!

You are my new favorite!

 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 12:30 am :
Haha thanks!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Erudite said...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 12:28 pm:
WOW..nice!! i liked the way u wrote it! your one of my fave writers, i have like read most of your stories! :D
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 4:05 pm :
Thank you! I know,  I REALLY appreciate it:D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Imaginedangerous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 12:20 pm:
Honestly, the average teenage girl is one of the things on this planet that annoys me the most. Good job.
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 4:04 pm :
Haha thanks:D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
AprilDarkness said...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 7:21 pm:
I think I'vealready read this somewhere, was it on a TI forum? I don't know but all I can say is that I absolutely love it!
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:58 pm :
Haha yeah it was, but thanks April!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
ithinkijustflew said...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 6:10 pm:
A really beautiful, real article. True to life. Well done ;)
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 6:16 pm :
Thanks:D 
 
tabbycat1950 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 8:43 pm :
I really love this article. The raw emotion that you put into it was wonderful.
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 9:11 pm :
Thanks! :D 
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 9:18 pm :
Thanks! :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
A.Dreamer said...
Jul. 30, 2010 at 8:33 pm:

I like how this venting turned out to be so well. It. Is. A. Masterpiece. <= Oh yes, it is.

The individuality shown in this piece is amazing, I love the fact that you're fine with being yourself and not someone else.

Round of applause, LEXIE DID AN AMAZING JOB ON YET ANOTHER PIECE! :D

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback