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I'm Me This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

I’m used to it by now. How couldn’t I be? The looks, the sneers, whispers you’ve thought I couldn’t hear. Well, I could.

Of course I know I’m different. I’ve lived with myself my whole life—shocker, isn’t it? I would have to have much less intelligence than I possess to not realize how estranged from others I really am.

You pass snide remarks about my clothes. I apologize that I haven’t worn the “in” clothing that you always do, which tends to cut off your circulation. But if it’s popular, and it’s pretty, you decide it’s worth the discomfort. I never thought so.

My mind—it must run on a different station than everyone else’s. Maybe I’m like Bella. I’m on FM while everyone else is on AM. Or maybe I’m just not tuned into the radio at all.

I don’t feel the need to speak the way you do, laugh the way you do, flirt the way you do. I see a guy, and I may note if he looks cute—nothing more. I feel no urge to run up, giggling and flashing to him, and start picking on him in a way that somehow is supposed to indicate that I like him.

Sure, I’m more intelligent than most, perhaps all of you. I can’t help it. I don’t like it. That doesn’t change anything. But the intelligence isn’t really what matters. Yes I thought so, for a while. But there are others who are intelligent, and they get along just fine…no, that’s not it.

It’s me. I see the world differently than you do. And I like the way I see it. I’m not about to change my views because of some of humanity’s strange notions.

Why do you cover yourself in those foul-smelling chemicals and pastes, that make you look more like a piece of art than a human being? I simply don’t see the appeal. You look down on me for this. I really couldn’t care. Must I make my curly brown hair curlier? My bright brown eyes more vivid? My long, dark lashes more emphasized? I don’t see why. I look fine the way I am.

I talk funny. That’s what you always tell me. I talk like an old person. Not really. Just because I choose to use larger words, am I incomprehensible? Doubtful. You just want something else to tease me with. You’ve got it.

No, I’m not a teacher’s pet merely because I answer the questions you seem too busy to care about, or because I speak to them after class occasionally. So what if I’m a writer? It’s really none of your business.

You know what? I used to care. I used to cry. I cry not only when I’m sad, but when I’m angry, did you know that? Of course you didn’t, you never cared enough to find out. But I don’t cry anymore. If my eyes are over-bright, it’s because I’ve just gotten an idea. One that you’ll never have. Or maybe it’s just because I’m comfortable with myself—which is more than you can say.

So I’ll keep my strange clothing, my strange views, my unadorned face, my way of speaking. And if you don’t like it? Too bad.



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This article has 53 comments. Post your own!

Addie Holmes said...
Dec. 13 at 1:33 pm:
You remind me a lot of sherlock. He's different and speaks differently. I love it. And I know what you're going through, I go through the same stuff every day. I hope you feel better c:
 
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glitzgirl66 said...
Feb. 28 at 11:01 am:
You're perfect just the way you are! Don't let anyone tell you different. I really liked your entry. 
 
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Steph Y. said...
Feb. 7 at 6:36 pm:
All I have to say is; AMAZING!! Very nice and very moving. Makes me think more about being myself and not caring what other people think about me! So great job!! 
 
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Black_Rose_Princess said...
Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:12 am:
Wonderfully written and I can't help agreeing. I know how you feel and it's better not to care about what others think. I found myself nodding in agreement throughout the piece. Stay you and don't ever change!
 
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EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm:
Tell it to 'em!
 
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eileentotheleft said...
May 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm:

I agree with Madgie. This is an excellently written piece; however, it did come off as very pretentious, making the reader uncomfortable. I understand that this is a piece constructed solely to vent, but you made the whole article very unapproachable. Readers want to relate.

Either way, great piece. Your other work is great, also. :)

 
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Madgie said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 8:37 pm:

The writing was pretty good, but it came off rather arrogant in certain places. I was torn between being able to relate to it and being uncomfortable with the arrogance. I also disagree with a few things. I used to turn my nose up at make-up too, but now I see it as  more of an art form. Like you mentioned in the story, it's more like expressing creativity. Just like writing is expressing creativity. And for the record, I still don't wear make-up regardless.

I matured a lot faster... (more »)

 
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kristen178 said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 6:06 pm:
I liked this. The writing was great, and I really liked your use of descriptive language. I do hope that you are not overly arrogant, though. I definitely see a bit of ego; I don't believe it is a large chunk, but it is not miniscule either. Other than that, great work on the article and knowing "big" words! Haha.
 
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Shahed said...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 11:13 pm:

I dont usually read in this section .. but this is such a good one :) well done!

 

Check out my work :)

 
butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 11:51 pm :
Thanks! Sure!
 
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apocalyptigirl said...
Sept. 18, 2010 at 2:18 pm:
This would have been perfect except for the fact that you compared yourself to Bella. (!!!argh!!!) Because you seem like a strong woman confident in your oddballness whereas she is not. And that comparison kind of defeated the purpose of "I am a nonconformist" b/c everyone likes Twilight. Or I guess I could kindly read it as irony, your way of showing the "in" crowd that you actually do have something in common with them. A piece of irony I really loved--it made me lol--was the sentence, ... (more »)
 
butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 18, 2010 at 2:27 pm :

Yay! You are officially the first person to catch that irony there. Congratulations! *high fives*

 

Aaaanyway, I was not doing that because I like Twilight, I merely sited that as a reference because of the whole "brain is on a different channel" thing.

 

Thank you!

 
apocalyptigirl replied...
Sept. 18, 2010 at 2:32 pm :
Lol thanks. *high-fives back* I like your nonfiction pieces a lot :)
 
butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 18, 2010 at 2:40 pm :
Thanks! I don't write a whooole lot of them, but sometimes I'm inspired for one, or, like with this one, I'm trying to vent.
 
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AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 13, 2010 at 10:12 pm:
I feel the same way.  Society is a bit sad, isn't it?  But at least the oddballs get to be happy! And I do have fun. :)
 
butnotacrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 5:51 am :
Haha nice:D
 
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myriamjonaslover said...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 1:43 pm:

I see that your way of ventine is writing... mine is talking to the mirror! Lol !

I know exactley how you feel, and I can truly say that I feel better after reading this too!

 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 4:04 pm :
Thank you! Haha that's funny:D I'm glad it made you feel better.
 
myriamjonaslover replied...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 5:39 pm :

:)

BTW, by reading your profile, I noticed that u liked gymnastics... GYM IS MY LIFE! but I had back problems so I quit and now I have physical therapies :/ but I still love to watch Miobi and the championships :D

 
ItWasAMurderButNotACrime This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 8:43 pm :
I'm sorry:( I actually have major back problems too, I fractured both sides of my lower back and it's a non union which means it'll never fully heal and it pains me a lot and could paralyze me but....I'm still goin'....which is why I'm crazy.
 
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