I had a panic attack on the bus. I don't know if it was the shock that my arch enemy, Haley, had decided to go after all, and that my best friend was sitting next to her, or if it was the realization that Sara had been raped at this place that hit me. All I know is that my throat closed up and all the windows caved in.

I ran off the bus. I told my Latin teacher that I was getting some water. I ran into my Spanish teacher's office and begged him to find some way to get me out of this. Really, looking back now, I think I just wanted someone to say it was okay if I didn't go. But he told me that I had to go. I had to win something for my school.

So I got back on the bus and cried the whole way there. I cried the whole way back, too. I was fine, though, like he said I would be. The next day, when people asked me how it had been, I shrugged and said, "Fine."