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Unknown in the Darkness
Ever since I was little I've been afraid of the dark. Afraid of what I wouldn't see, of what might be coming.
The monsters that lurk, and the noises they create, make you shake not wanting to move from your place.
You're constantly looking to find an escape, but find no relief in the darkness they create.
The doors you mangage to lock, but they don't stop the thoughts, of what lies in the dark.
I remember sitting up at night listening to what sounded like people walking.
Hoping I was wrong in what lies beyond. But never knowing for sure what was actually out there.
I'll never forget that look when she told me he was here, right now this moment,
in my yard screaming and swearing. Threatening to kill, damage, and destroy anything that would leave us in pain.
When the police showed up minutes later, I became nervous he would come back, do something, anyhting.
They left to get a restraining order leaving me behind with a screaming two year old, in the midst of the darkness.
I didn't know what to do, all I could do was cry. I couldn't sleep, just sit in the dark and think.
Pray that it wouldn't happen again. Hoping everything would be okay. Scarred to be left alone in the dark.
At night I listen, to everything; the sounds, the cars slowing and speeding, the way the wind blows.
I'm always the first to know if anything is happening. Afraid to go to sleep, should no one wake.
It's a curse that I can't get over. The fear of the darkness in a box with no escape.
Three doors that are always locked, afraid it won't be enough to stop whatever is coming.
They tell me everything is fine, nothing will happen, but that's a promise they cannot keep.
They can't control others actions that they wish to complete.
This is what it feels like to be afraid of the unknown. Nothing soothes you, nothing calms you.
there's always that fear that something will come as soon as you go to sleep.
But when you wake up you're thankful that nothing happened, another nights rest that didn't prove you wrong.