The Secret Diary of a Bipolar Soul

May 31, 2010
By , brick, NJ
December 8, 2007


Age: 14
Daddy,

It’s been five days since you passed away. Not to mention how rough it’s been on me. No matter where I am, day in, day out, I’m always thinking of you. Cheyenne is living with me and Mommy. Dallas is with Donna. Donna said she would teach Dallas to be a therapy dog. Your best buddy, Dakota, is with Kurt. We played your favorite song at your wake. Kaitie and I are planning on getting tattoos dedicated to you. I really miss you. I just wish you were here. I love you Daddy.
-
Your Daughter



I never really thought about death or how one’s life comes to an end. Not once did I ever imagine what it would be like to take that last breath and watch my body lay helplessly as my soul drifts to another world. No, those thoughts never went through my head, until the day my Dad died.

I will always remember December 3, 2007 as the day my dad died. I had school that morning. The sky was cloudy and the weather was slightly chilly. Everything was going great until lunch time. I was in the Middle of eating my cheese burger and fries, when my guidance counselor, Mrs. Brown told me to follow her to her office. As she opened the door I saw my mom and one of her dearest friends Veronica. I could just tell by the horrified look on my mother’s face that something was terribly wrong. She had tears coming down her rosy cheeks and puffy eyes. Then, she told me those two words I will never forget, “Daddy Died”.

I always relied on my dad to help me out when I was struggling with some obstacle. We were so close and I could see why. Anyone could see the reason why just by looking at the two of us when we were together. I always got these comments from people saying “You look just like your dad”. It was true; I did look like my Father. That wasn’t the only trait I inherited from him though.

At age 8 I was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. In some cases I would say, yes, living with Bipolar Disorder is a pain. By having ADHD and being Bipolar I do have some flaws. I have trouble concentrating, I have really bad mood swings, I get really bad mania and sometimes I even feel depressed. With the right medicines though, I don’t have to feel those horrible emotions. Something not a lot of people know is that by being Bipolar, you are also born with some strengths too. Some of the most successful and creative people in the world had Bipolar Disorder. Take Vincent Van Gogh and Jim Carey for example. They both struggled through a lifetime of Bipolar disorder but learned to take the negative and make it positive.

My Dad used to tell me that I had a gift; I just needed to learn how to use it. He was right. Vincent Van Gogh learned how to take his mania and anger and put it all into a beautiful painting. Those living with Bipolar Disorder all have something special to share. It’s just a matter of figuring out what it is and how to use it.





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