Who knew it was possible to shake this much? I mean, I’m probably the cause of earthquakes around the world right now! Bringing the 2012 doom quicker upon us, as I vibrate in the waiting room.
MUST.
CONTROL.
MY.
MUSCLES!
“Wow!” my mom said. “You ok Livi?”
“Psh, who me? Yea fine, just trembling for fun here!” I try to play it cool. Unfortunately, the effect is kind of killed by my chattering teeth.
She rolls her eyes. Ms. Compassionate.
“Oh please, this will be NOTHING! Just wait until you have kids!”
OH GREAT! She played the childbirth card! That means I won’t even know what hit me. Ok, so maybe this is a little bit dramatic. But hey, it’s not every day a girl gets her wisdom teeth pulled. The procedure is doomed to failure from the very beginning. I mean, come on! Why are you pulling my WISE teeth? Take the STUPID ones please! Maybe the wise ones will keep anything brainless leaving my mouth!
Hey, I can dream!
“Olivia C.?” the nurse calls, entering the room with the ever-present-nurse-clipboard. You can not be a nurse without one; it’s one of the requirements.
“Here!” my mom says brightly, like a kindergartener.
The nurse smiles, “Dr. Chen is ready for you. Let me show you to your room.”
We get up and walk to my room, in the very, very, very far back corner. A sudden thought strikes me. What if while I am here, helpless and drugged, they decide to take my brain or some other vital organ? Why stop with my teeth? Aren’t back corners the place where EVERYTHING bad happens!? I turn to my mom pleading.
She grins like there’s no tomorrow. Which just may be my case.
“Don’t worry honey, the worst thing that could happen is your jaw falls out and you die of starvation, and I hear that rarely happens!” She kisses me and heads out the door. Have I mentioned how compassionate she is? It’s really just overwhelming.
So now I am here in the back corner, with possible brain hungry aliens posing as dentists.
Have I mentioned how very far away this room is from help?
Somehow they strap me in place, and pull out their choice means of torture.
“DON’TLIKENEEDLES!” I say through gritted teeth, as the evil device nears me.
“Don’t worry honey!” the nurse poser says. “It will only hurt for a little while!”
Why do ALL nurses say that?
And then suddenly, whoa, I’m really tired… OH look! Pretty lights! I smile up at them. Hey, my eyes are kind of heavy… mind if I just close them for a little while you brain stealers?
Next thing I know, I’m waking up to my mom’s face. RIGHT THERE.
I try to jerk back, but I seem to be temporarily immobile, for some reason. My mom’s voice seeps down, like it’s fighting through jello.
“Hey baby-doll, it’s over!”
Uhh…? What is this “IT” we are discussing?
Oh right. Aliens, brains, teeth gone, right, I’m good. Nothing much wrong with this drugged teen!
I sit up. World tilting, and I’m spiraling down, head… upside down?
With the help of my mom and a nurse I manage to stagger out to the car, like a drunkard. I manage to get in the car, only running into the side once… ok, twice.
I sit there, as my mom starts the car, when I am suddenly aware of a strange growth on my face.
“Wuhb is dis?” I groan pointing in what I think is the general direction of my face. Eek! Was that really me talking?
“Uhh… that’s your lip” my mom says, obviously worried.
Ohh, I knew that. Obviously, those wisdom teeth held a lot more than normal teeth… Can I get them back please?