The Vampires in the Grocery Store

April 28, 2010
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The two sickly, pale figures stood in front of me in line at the checkout counter, looking like a pair of vampires emerging into the sun for the first time. The taller of the couple was the palest human being I had ever seen, with skin whiter than chalk, and his frame was thinner than a skeleton. He kept his head bent over the dozens of gleaming cans of Pepsi he was packing in bags and took his time extending each bony finger as he lifted each one. A small lock of black hair hung greasily in his face and when he moved his head his Adam’s Apple moved in his throat. As I waited for my turn at the checkout I had to try hard not to gawk. He looked like he had never stepped outside before, and he was well over six feet tall.

His wife , on the other hand, was slightly more normal at first glance. She was shorter and frumpier, but also quite pale. She wore the longest fake eyelashes I had ever seen and each eyelid was coated in dark purple mascara. She kept her head bent over her checkbook and did not say a word, not once opening her purple-lipstick covered mouth.

It was my turn at the checkout and I began unloading boxes of cereal on the belt when I did a double-take. The woman, who’s face looked slightly masculine, had crooked hair! I looked again and realized that she (or maybe he), was wearing a long, crooked black wig. I gave the couple an odd look as they shuffled out of the Cub Foods with their groceries. Never will I find out who they really were- vampires, tunneling people from the underground, or criminals on the run, but they will last in my memory forever as the most interesting people I’ve ever happened across in a grocery store.

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