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obsessed

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a fine smile or a simple hair cut just to get a guy isn't the same these days.....
Young girls feel they have to pile makeup upon their face just to get a single look from the new kid or captain of the football team.....
thats different for me my eyelashes are always falling out, i have extreme exama all over my legs, i have achne, i have a giant butt, but slim waist, and my hair seems to be falling out and its getting thinner and thinner......
i cry all the time for reasons i think make sence but to other people they are just plain old stupid....
my friends are fake and i just dont know who to trust......
i have about maybe two real friends who dont ever judge me and who actually care about me...who are they well im just not all that sure......
ive gone to go see our schools concelor and welll big mistake the crazy lady actually called the students that i was talking about in there so i could confront them of what they were doing wrong to me which just made them more mad....
so after that i havent trusted anyone to share my problems with...if i told one person just some how ( that person) everyone would know and i wondered who told....
they must think i am stupid or somthing because i knew exactly how everyone found out...
people are going to make fun of me everywhere so i decided that maybe some myricle would come out and just hit me saying " i am that friend you have been looking for all this time for you to trust, cry to, talk too, laugh with, and love forever......."
i really do not want to grow up.....
this is hard enough having my mom to lean on when there is no one else just imagine when god decides to just take her away......
who will i have? for me my dad just isnt as easy to talk to as my mom and my step mom, welll key word...step mom it really wont be the same.....
i used to be obsessed with looking pretty, i would always curl or straighten my hair until one day i just decided i was naturally pretty i didnt need everything i was layering my poor face with, of course i know im not gorgeous but every body is beautiful in their own way.....
i wish the word fat overweight chubby or flabby never were made because they are words that people are rudely describing gods creations with....



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