March 6, 2010
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He looks at me, I look away. I look at him, he looks away. Is it real, or is it fake? I think I love him. But do I really? You tell me? Is love supposed to be this hard? Girls say how hard it is, I don’t listen. Maybe I should? Love is a happy thing, sometimes confusing, but not hard. Right?
Happy- When you know you have someone to be there for you no matter sad, mad, or upset.
Confusing- Should I love him, should I not? I think I do, I think he does. But still love.
Hard- I like you, I think you like me but wont admit it. Look at me, but I see, you look away? Is this love, or just complication.
I want to believe it’s love, but I know it’s not. I wish love was still so kindergarten. When girls would chase boys, and thought they had cooties. But inside, that little boy knew he liked her. And at least he would tell her in his own little way. Why can’t they now? It’s the same person, right? Why can’ things every go right? And… Easy? Love just doesn’t work that way for me. When I look at you, I see love. When you look at me, what do you see? I wish it’d be love too, but I know it’s not. Can’t things ever be simple for me? Not.. Hard? Just stop trying, I tell myself. But I can’t… Can my world get any worse. I don’t think so.

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