Trapped (Verb): to catch or be caught by being tricked; to be unable to move or escape
“Don’t feel bad for him Susie; he’s trapped in a perfect world.” – The Lovely Bones
That’s exactly how I feel; trapped in what most people would consider a “perfect world”. Theres no way to escape, I’m doomed to an endless life of gliding mindlessly in mini skirts across a harsh, sleek ice forever.
The World of Competitive Figure Skating. You all know it well, the tiny Chinese girls at the Olympics, the sparkly costumes, the inspirational movies, etc. That’s the world I’m trapped in. If you think that being elite figure skater is easy or a dream-come-true, you’re dead wrong. It’s a torturous nightmare for me. Theres weight insecurities, harsh completion, mindless chatter, dictatorship, and extreme pressure. You may ask, than why do you do it? How are you trapped? Why are you the only one complaining? Those questions are simple enough, you see most girls who figure skate aren’t awake. I was once like this. My body and soul and pure purpose in life was skating for 7 years. That’s how they trap you; they lure you with the pretty little skirts and makeup and from the second you step onto that ice, you’re mind is shut off. You will stop at NOTHING to get the gold and you will obey without question always. No matter how ridiculous the request. I only woke up about two years ago, when I discovered my true passion for the world of theatre. This is my daily blog of being awake, I still must pretend I am asleep, it’s a lot like detective work. It’s time the skating world’s cover was blown, and I’m more than ready to exploit it.
When I say I’m trapped, I’m not exaggerating. I can’t quit, I can’t try something new, theres no room for anything. Why? My mom. When my mother was a kid, she wanted to be a figure skater more than anything. Her parents refused to pay for lessons. So when she had me, it was the greatest moment in her life when I said I thought a skater’s costume was pretty. That’s all she needed to plunge me into what ended up being my current nightmare. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t skate, but I do remember times when I tried other things and than had to quit because my mom said it interfered with skating. She didn’t realize letting me do ‘Grease’ at the greatest acting camp in the world (in my opinion anyway) would bring in end to my bliss. She still doesn’t know as a matter a fact.
The thing is, I love my mom, and me skating always made her happy. She doesn’t want to understand I’m grown up now, and I should be allowed to make my own choices. Which is exactly how I’m trapped. But no one said I couldn’t do ANYHTING about being trapped…