Goodbye, my loved.

February 26, 2010
All I every wanted in this world was to hold that special place in his heart forever, like he told me I would. But forever doesn't exist, and we are all broken.

I'm such a fool.

I don't ever cross his mind or his dreams. He has found happiness and a ways to move on, leaving me behind.

So here I am, stuck in this abstruse hell in my mind, heart, and soul. I will forever be stagnant here, with lost hopes and destroyed dreams.

Forever only exists in memory and in misery, not in love. Love is just an illusion that crawls into our souls and embeds poison, and when it has infected our minds, dreams, and life, it withers away leaving you to ask where your love went, when in fact, there was none to begin with.

Now i scream and beg just to be released from these chains that bind my heart and starve it of the love it yearns for.

What lives to keep me so unhappy, to live in turmoil all my days?

Everyone deserves their one love, the one thing we are deprived of at so many times.

It's the "what if's" that kill you, and all I think it what if we had never been separated?

That's all I can fathom to bend, to break, and to destroy.

There is no mercy from neither me nor my legal rights.

I would give my life, in fact if the very last minute all I felt was love. Love for any human soul than the one whom devastated all I love and cherish.

Or even to spend that one minute resting in his arms, looking into his eyes, as they shout lies and murder and I would be blind to all except the oceans blue and the love and amazement they once held for me, so long ago.

Those days have been mislaid in the permanent abyss of our minds, never to be reclaimed for our own. But when we held each others hand, our hearts were in time, our eyes met each others loving gaze, and our hearts were filled with joy. We cherished the love beaming from our pallid skin. The trembling of our bones at each others beloved touch and beautiful words lovingly spoken from our lips to the others heart.

Goodbye, my love.
(I shall forever remember you)

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