We trun on the tv. Panic seeps through me as I see the running and the tear-streaked faces. Shooting at Deer Creek. The words hit my heart like steel knives. ANd it makes me think about Sean. His name makes me snap back into reality. I text him. My heart races as I wait for his response. Then it comes. He's ok. But his friends are hurt. He's hurting. I can see that. It makes me hurt too. It also makes me wonder what kind of person does this? Rips lives apart and creates terror like nothing else. Can't they see the misery and the pain? THe only thing that holds us together is love. It's something murderers obvisously don't experience. It's also something I think I feel towards Sean. I hope he realizes that I really do care about him. And he could've easily been one of those people who got hurt. I thought I might have stood a chance with him, but he doesn;t feel the same way. Maybe someday he see. But for now, we all need to focus on acknowledging the fact that our world is a twisted place. We try and try to find something to hold onto. Instead we fall. Some people fall for people who reach out and catch them and they fall together. But some of us, fall for people who already have someone to hold on to. And they just watch us pass and don't think until we're gone and out of reach. For some of these unfortuante people, they find someone at the end of the fall. Someone who will catch them. But then there are those of us who hit a trampoline at the end of the fall. We keep coming back but they still don't catch us. I'm one of these people. I keep coming back to him but he never even notices me. Will he ever see that I'm the one he should be with? Will he ever notice me falling for him? Will her ever fall for me the way I've fallen for him?
Will he ever...?
February 24, 2010