college admission essay

February 19, 2010
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3A. In order for the Admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better we ask that you answer the following question: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped define you as a person?
Flying through the Bermuda Triangle, Harvey Birdman and I have slain countless aquatic beasts, including Rose Hirko. I have started wars between Antarctica and Portugal, and got Antarctica to win. Avenging Billy Mays, I have assassinated his assassin. When I was three I entered college to become a history professor, by the time I had my fourth birthday I had taught thirteen classes of one hundred. I have killed four people with the same bullet. I have been to the Beyond section at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I brought sexy back. When encountering Mewtwo, I battled with a Rattata and captured him with a regular poke’ball. I wrote Beowulf. Agent K, from Men in Black, was my sidekick in the forties. Using only the hot air from Egypt and palm tree leaves I built the pyramids. I am the reason why Waldo is hiding. I can believe that its not butter. I am the grandfather of my father. The epic battle I had with Matt Lauer, created all the things that are in the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Museum. I don’t have a neck of the woods, I am the woods. Nostradamus stole the random writings that I write on when I think of random stuff in the night, and called it his prophecies. I invented gravity and made Catholics immune to it.

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