I sat on my bed, watching the candle across my room as the flame danced freely. I had just had one of those awkward conversations with my mom, not about relationships, I don’t have a boyfriend, or about friends, I only have a few, but it was about why I always felt like I was in some kind of weird time warp, where everything keeps repeating itself. My life is like a never-ending cycle of…boring.
“Why,…why is everything so boring to you?” she had asked.
I just sighed. “Don‘t know. I’ve got homework to do.” That of course was a lie. I had no homework. I just didn’t want to tell her the truth. I know exactly why I’m always so bored. Nothing CHANGES!!! Let me take you through my daily routine here people. First I wake up, then I go to school, then I come home, and finally I go to sleep and it repeats over and over and over again. Sounds exciting huh? No, before you ask I do not participate in any extra curricular activities nor do I hang out with my friends most of the time, they actually have lives!!!! So WHY no activities you ask? Well lets go through them here first shall we? Sports…um no… and the more appropriate reason is that I am not in any sport for the safety of myself and for others around me!!!!! I swear I can’t even get through one game of basketball before the ball hits me in the head. Art…I guess I’m okay at it, but nothing more. Honestly the best I can do is a couple of doodles. Shopping…NO. Just no. I’m not the kind of person to spend my money on something I’m sure I’ll only use or wear one time. Even if I did like shopping I don’t have enough money. Charity…I’d love to donate my time and everything but I’d have a few problems getting to homeless and animal shelters considering that I’m not old enough to drive. Photography, I’D LOVE TOO!!!!!! But yet again…money problems. Can’t buy a camera. And I’m to shy to admit that it’s my dream. I swear this ‘world’ seems to be fueled by it now, it’s quite repulsing if you think about it. If all the money in the ‘world’ disappeared our ‘world’ would come crashing down on us.. Jeez I’m only 14! Are kids my age supposed to feel so cooped up!!!! All I can do is day dream about how I want to get out of here, out of Texas. I want to go some place where I am completely out of my element. Tokyo, England, New York, Greece, Italy… the list goes on and on. So many options. I want to accomplish something I always wanted to do…be a photographer. I wanted to travel around the world, explore it’s real beauty, and capture it in one still image. To feel so free. Yet here I am, this caged bird that’s just watching it’s life slip away second by second….