The Glass World

February 16, 2010
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On December 30, 2002, my world came crashing down around me. In my life at 8 years old, everything was a fairytale. I lived in a pretty house, I had lots of toys, and a good family. What else was there to life at 8 years old? It were as if I lived in a glass globe, where everything was perfect and when shaken all it did was snow briefly, and then everything was fine again. Of course that's not how things really were, but my parents guarded me from the world the best they could, and they did quite well at it too. Except for that day. On that day, without warning, my glass world of perfection would come crashing to the floor.
The sound of sobs and screams woke me and, thinking it was a nightmare, I pulled the blankets over my head and hugged my stuffed dog, Max, closer to me. But the screams didn't stop. My lights came on and I rolled to the floor not knowing what was going on. "O God, please help her!" "Is she dead?!"
Is who dead? Help who? Being pulled out of bed, I was put in the van and taken to the hospital. As we ran toward the building I stared up at the building, not knowing that as soon as I walked out, I would never be the same. Then I heard the name."Erin." The name resounded in my head as I put the pieces together. Panic rose in me as I comprehended what was happening. The feeling I felt was indescribable. I was helpless and scared and vulnerable and most of all, I felt cheated.

It was something an 8 year old should never have to deal with, but that's just how the world works. "O God, please don't let this happen, I just got her back." That was all I could think of. We were not in that hospital for more than five minutes when a short bald man came out and said he was a reverend. Honestly, I didn't care for introductions at the moment and I could tell that my family didn't either. "I'm sorry, but your daughter has died."
I will never forget the sound of my mother's sobs, or my sisters' and my brother's, it is something that will haunt me forever. I will never forget the smell of that place or that tiny sitting area, with the out dated blue carpet and wood paneling with ugly pastel oil paintings. Those things have been in my nightmares countless times. The concept of death was so strange at the time, I mean the most I had ever lost was a family pet. But this was my sister, and one of my best friends. One thing is for sure, no one had ever prepared me for something like this to happen.
We waited for hours for my father to get there. It was around Christmas time, and he was working for UPS so it was very busy. After hours of waiting, my Pa walked through the door. When that happened, everything was ok. He looked at peace, and so was I, because my dad was finally there. He held my hand and we walked to the room where my sister was. It took years to get the whole story, but my sister died in a car accident. She was talking on the phone and dropped it, when she reached to get it, she turned the wheel with her and hit a tree.
My sister was so pretty. Even when she was laying there, there wasn't a scratch on her. She looked like she was sleeping, but she wasn't, and neither was I. This definately wasn't a nighmare, it was much worse. Then the strangest thing happened, a peace that I had never felt before just covered the room and calmed the storm raging inside me.
While other kids were asleep in their beds that morning, I was thrown into the world without any warning. I had never felt so lost in my entire life, I felt cheated and vulnerable. I was stripped of everything I had ever known, and had to grow up a lot faster than any kid should have to, and not just for my sake, but for my family's too. The world was put into perspective for me that night, and I found that it was cruel and unmerciful at times, but sometimes it was great. I could tell you I was never happy again, and that I was an angry, bitter person, but I'd be lying. I chose to fight the world and overcome everything that had happened, and so far, I am winning. I have my God, and my family, and that's all I really need.





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