Gotta Believe in Love

February 13, 2010
11:11 A.M I wished for you. 11:11 P.M. I still wished for you. When I spot an eyelash in my face, I’d carefully take it and make a wish and blow it away. I wished for you. I look at the first star I see and wish…for you, of course. Wishes do come true, right? Isn’t that why they always say ‘Make a Wish’ before you blow your birthday candle out? Isn’t that why all those pennies you see are in those wishing wells and fountains?

When I first met you, it wasn’t love at first sight. You didn’t give my stomach the butterflies. My heart didn’t beat as fast as a jaguar could leap through the jungle. Your eyes didn’t have that shine in them and your smile wasn’t the thing that made me fall in love with you.

When you asked me why I love you, I told you that whenever I think of you all my problems goes away like a cool wind passes me by and take it all away. I told you that you filled most of the space in my mind like rain that fills up the empty garden vase on your backyard. Technically, I wasn’t lying but if at that time I told you that I can’t put it on words and it was so much more than the stars and the rain, how would you react? What if I just told you ‘I just do’?

My heart sinks into this deeper feeling when I see you in every movie, when I hear you in every song, and when I feel you in every step I make.

I choke whenever someone asks me why I love you. I awkwardly smile and try to go to the next topic. You know why? Because this kind of love can only be explained by the words of “I love him, is there any reasons needed?”

Do I need a reason for loving someone? Is love not enough?

My tears appear when he breaks my heart at night. I let it all out until I fall asleep to the sweet sound of broken love songs. My tears appear when he makes me smile in my dreams. The feeling is like when you just went out for a jog and you see the cake sitting in your dining table and you take a piece and it melts in your mouth.

I can’t have the doubts people try to tell me over and over again. I can’t listen to their ‘what ifs’ that will never happen. So what if this love is the only thing I can hold on to? So what if I have no proof that we’ll be together.

Distance and time are the only obstacles in the way. I still want him as years pass me by. I know that one day; I can tell him I love him without being asked why.

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