January 4, 2010
By , Lorton, VA
They call me Raelyn. I am white; hundreds of tiny brown freckles cover my nose. My skin is like speckled sand, smooth and warm. I was born from a woman of great strength and thought. A woman who knows suffering and pain within her soul, a woman riddled with insecurities one who has been beaten of her confidence and cheated by manipulation. I was born from a man of great strength and thought, a man of wisdom and grace, one who loves beyond the earth’s ends. I was born of a woman and man who divorced. The bearings of being a torn child have wavered any concept of a functional relationship. I am not the divorce, nor the cause, I will never become of it. I know who I’ve come from.

This is my America, the home of the broken. The broken home. I have wrestled with who I am, the core of what it means to exist and I have come up with this: I am a beautiful young woman, a poet beneath the sheets, a quirky day dreaming believer. Naïve enough to believe my God has come and saved me. I am brave yet I am scared. I am human; a girl. I s*** and I shave. I doubt all. I am an American.

Fickle little girl. Groomed and mislead by the molestations of dirty hands. The innocence of my being crumpled up and jaded. This is my America, it dances with alcoholic step dads and drug-ridden peers. It sings with sexual degradation and selfish beings. My America enables ignorant adults to laugh at my conjectures. I ask myself to become better then the gender mold of my family.

The molds that have suffocated the woman of my example will no longer deprive me. I am freed, broken and humbled by the foreshadows of what my life could be. This is my declaration, the recollection of what has bound my most intimate thoughts. I am a strong young woman, a poet beneath the façade, an inquisitive believer. Simply naïve enough to believe the mold, which has been laid out for me, is not mine. I am an American.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

raebaybay90 said...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 5:39 pm
this is really good. My name is Raelyn too and my parents are divorced
Maggie said...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 7:15 pm
beautiful beautiful work, raelyn! so honest and well paced.
Dexter said...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Break the mold baby. This is an amazing piece and you are indeed a strong young woman-
Klyle34 said...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 1:13 pm
This was beautifully written! What you wrote are the most honest statements I have read. Even though people don't tell the truth like this very often, congratulations on having the courage to be yourself!
BeeDiddy said...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 12:18 pm
WOW! You really know how to write. Some of the things you mentioned scared me into thinking about my own America, and how you may think you are alone, but everyone has a secret that is inside of them Thank you for sharing your secrets with us.
lkcb said...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 8:42 am
Well put, and I know you have great things ahead of you! Much love!
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