They were holding hands. My heart sank and, as my emotions rose up im me like a geyser, my pain of the image of my best friend and my ex together was all that haulted the wolf which resides in me. He is vicious, vengeful, and relentless. But completely obedient to his master, so unless I give the command he will not attack. It was in my favor that I did not give the order, for what I beleived to be her hair (which was on a girl holding a boy's hand of whom I didn't bother to glance at in my firey rage) was not her hair, or her for that matter, at all. The beast who had just nearly broken his seal fell back into remission and I regained my composure. However, I found that the sheer force with which my pain and anger had surged forth with, had left an impression the size of betrayal on my heart. The options I had during my flare were countless yet the reaction that was instinctual left me frightened. In the millisecond that the hallway's bad lighting had led me to beleive that my fellow pack member and the harlot who shattered my heart were walking intimately as she and I had once walked, I was in a full animal state of mind. Kill. The word was to me what "ready" is to a runner. if I could have seen myself at that moment, I would not be surprised to see myself beginning to hunch in preparation for a quick overtaking of my prey or to see my teeth bared, my canines wet with saliva of anticipation. For that single heart beat, the wolf enraptured my entire being and was prepared to eliminate the pain my conscious form so dutifully bears. I snapped back into the present from what seemed like minutes of emotional transitions and shook the bloodlust off, blinking a few times to rid myself of the red, narrow scope that the hunter in me uses. My latest love interest's face and words, which I normally cling to like preciosu air bubbles in the stormy sea of trials, could not even provide releif to the shockwave I had just experienced from a mere upward glance. Love and freindship both demand loyalty and trust. If they were to embrace (my comrad and my widow that is) I fear the reality would prove too powerful. The wolf's seal would be broken and my 'normal' self would then bebound. No good would come of that. If they desire one another, I will heed them to run. The wolf is on the hunt.
Ever Weakening Bounds
January 22, 2010