Confessions of a Stalker This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

     I look forward to seeing his face every morning. His gorgeous blue eyes, adorable smile, his perfect hair; you couldn’t ask for anything better. I’ve never talked to him, but I feel like I know him. You can call me a stalker, or obsessed. I know I am. This is high school; it’s okay to have fun.
It all starts before homeroom, when I see him at his locker. Then it’s time to go for a little walk down the hall. My heart starts pounding and the butterflies start fluttering. All I hope for is a brief moment of eye contact. Maybe that’s all I need to have a good day, or maybe I know that’s all that will ever happen.
I totter down the hall like I’ve never walked before. It’s difficult to be noticeable without looking like you’re trying. Time seems to slow down as I approach him - like I’m walking toward the horizon but it’s not getting any closer. He’s more magnificent than the horizon. When I’m finally parallel with his locker, my head turns and I glance his way. Will he gaze back, or just ignore the fact that he is my morning cup of coffee? Sometimes my cup is half full, and other times it’s completely empty. When I see his eyes looking into mine, the world lifts off my shoulders. My day is set. Today will be a good day.
Throughout the rest of the day, I see him a few more times. The same feelings go through my body. My day revolves around his schedule. It’s frightening, even to me. I know which stairs to go down, which halls to go through.
Does he know that I follow his every move? Does he know that he’s the most amazing thing ever to cross my path? He’s like a black cat without the bad luck. If I see him, it affects the rest of my day. He probably doesn’t even know I exist. I bet he doesn’t know my name, or where I live, let alone what grade I’m in. I always worry that I’m being too obvious. I wonder if he notices that I look at him and no one else. All of these what-ifs pulse through my head.
Now and then I want him to notice me, to ask questions, to wonder things about me - what’s her name, what’s she like, what’s her story? - like a journalist getting the juice behind a story. He probably knows more about me than I think. All my dreams could become reality if I just said something to him. But I could never do that. Me talking to him ... not a chance. There’s probably a greater chance of me having a pet dinosaur. I’ve fallen harder for this guy than a skydiver whose parachute didn’t open.
My life would basically be complete if we had a conversation. He’s way out of my league. I always talk about him. “Look how cute he looks today. I love those shoes.” What if he heard me? He probably has heard me say something about him. He has to notice me staring all the time. He has to know - how can he not? I know I would notice someone stalking me. If only I had the guts to walk up and say something to him.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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shy-writer said...
Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:41 pm

OMG! I LOVE this! It reminds me of exactly how i feel right now! Well, I'm not to the point where I literally stalk him. I'm nowhere near like that, hopefully i never will be. But I do also feel that he is WAY out of my league. He's in the "popular" side of the school. Ugh!

Anyways, keep up with te writing! You're REALLY good! :)

EternalLove said...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 12:26 pm
ha, i used to  live near you, its intruging to know theres inteligent people in aburn new york XD
THECRIP said...
Oct. 8, 2010 at 11:03 am



Austen_Addict This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 2, 2010 at 1:38 am

Isn't it funny how we can make a our whole day revolve around one person without them ever knowing? For me, it was freshman year and he was the youngest substitute teacher. 10 years older than me, but when I found out he was working I knew EXACTLY where to be in order to see him. FINALLY my parents decided to move away, so I decided it was time to tell him I loved him. Of course he didn't say anything back, but it still felt good... LOL

You're writing is awesome!!! Keep up the good wor... (more »)

SilverRush3336 said...
Apr. 13, 2010 at 10:07 am
This describes exactly how i feel at my school too . This is an incredible piece, I hope you continue! :)
awesomeSarahPoetPerson said...
Apr. 2, 2010 at 1:10 pm
I know how you feel. It really sucks when you like some one you know you will never have. true for me there is this guy who is 17 and I am 14
austins_girl replied...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 11:21 am
wow this is so powerful
whatIreallythink said...
Mar. 18, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Yeah... my 5 frens no i like this guy. He's 3 1/2 years older than me and Im not allowed 2 date for 5 more years(im 13). He has no clue but when I see him even if everyone else is upset I can't be anything but happy. I just yesterday decided that I cannot be so obsessed with this dude. he's not a Christian and I am and I know that when I am older if he asks me out and still isn't a Christian I will have to say no. also I don't know hardly anything about him (but i l... (more »)
fictionlover10 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 16, 2010 at 3:56 pm
I can totally relate, even though I'm not a freshman until next year either. But, I feel the same way- just in strings
aly-mack10 said...
Feb. 24, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I really like this. When I sterted reading this i thought about me lol I think u shoul keep writting because this is really instresting. =]
~Wolf-Woman~ said...
Jan. 22, 2010 at 10:51 am
I know how you feel...well sort of. I know what it feels like to really like someone and not be able to have him. Even just seeing him or receiving a text from him can make my day. The thing is the guy i like knows i exist. He just won't give me a chance. I'm only 16 and he's 21.
ilovemath=) said...
Jan. 21, 2010 at 1:15 pm
This is exactly what i am going through right now! i love how you write and this was a very good piece! Keep writing!
Skittlessparkle said...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 7:23 am
Holy geeze! This is- this wow it is the perfect example of him! I agree with Melanie! But yes it is so hard to sit through band some days because you want so badly to go up to him and just say something or do something but no matter what you say you'll do none of us ever can. No I'm not bagging on us, I'm just saying he's like a drug! He clouds our brains and makes us feel like we're flying to just be sitting next to him. It's torturous when he sits there and does ... (more »)
Melanie+Dylan said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 11:34 pm
Wow i saw the title and i knew it was like me...there is this guy dylan C. He is magnificant hes a senior and i am only in the mere 8th grade... i seriously am obsessed i cant help it... i swear i almost faint wenever i see him... he is also the band T.A. and i joined band just in the hopes that i will for sure get to see him every day... noone knows but his younger brother who is in the grade below me and i think he is cool and he doesnt judge me for how obsessed i am... Geez i thaught i was t... (more »)
Skittlessparkle replied...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 7:26 am
Melanie...this describes our situatin perfect. She IS your twin!
Alia_Tan replied...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 10:01 pm
make that triplets :) Ive felt tht way about one guy before! soooo my situation like rite on!!
~*The-Broken-Hearted-Girl*~ said...
Aug. 20, 2009 at 11:30 pm
oh. my. gosh. it sounds a lot like me! O.O but i wont be a freshman until next year. but it's true. its exactly like me.
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