Today was a totally different day. I decided to follow society and wear a "mask," as I call it. Never did I think I'd go back to this, but now I see why it is so tempting. Masking myself made me feel great. My head was full of acceptance, my heart full of joy and I was full of myself.
Compliments shoveled into my head from every which way. For once I feld I was popular, but now I realize what a "fake" friend is. It felt like people surrounded me to boost their own confidence.
Guys that I was never associated with did good deeds for me. I felt like someone expected something from me and yet, I didn't call them out on it. I felt joyful and it was almost like an addiction.
Towards the end of the day, I felt an overpowering sense of confidence. I was so full of myself that I started putting people down for my own amusement. I knew men wouldn't stand up for themselves, so I started to take advantages of them.
This country accepted me today because I was covering my true self up. After wasting my time this morning by skipping breakfast and nearly missing my ride, I recied fake friends, compliments and treated people with disrespect. Yay for me! Even though all of this is morally wrong, especially covering my natural flaws, I want to wear this "mask" more often. Make up to me is like brains to a nerd, it gave me a sense of acceptence, joy and super confidence. But, I will fight these fake feeling and never again will I wear make up and follow society;s lead. I am real and out of the ordinary and I refuse to blend in.