I was never outgoing when it came to doing things out of my comfort zone. I always thought there will be another time and place for this I have plenty of time to do this some other day. On May 25th, 2008 my eyes were opened to reality. It was a lovely, bright, sunny, warm, beautiful day. Even though the day was beautiful there was grief, sorrow and a little bit of happiness. As I walked into the chapel there were no seats left I ended up sitting in the back row. I wasn’t expecting for my school year to be ending like this. I thought I would be playing out side and enjoying the warm golden sun and fresh air. As the casket was being rolled in I realized that this was reality. When I looked at the casket I saw the beautiful purple blanket my classmates and I had made Mrs. Brown sitting on top. As I realized this a sudden wave of emotion came over me. I wasn’t expecting to see the blanket. It was a gift from out class to help her feel better while she was fighting breast cancer for the third time. I sat in class wondering what my design should be, I wanted it to be something that resembled me. After thinking for a little while I decided to write my name in red and draw different color hearts around my name. To me this symbolized how much she meant to me. She was always there for me when ever I need and always gave the best advice. Once we were done sewing our names onto the quilt we would pull string through to tie them together. As we did this we would pray hoping that it would make her feel better. I really thought it was going to work but I guess I was wrong. I will never forget the day our principal told us Mrs. Brown had passes away. We were in a cold room and I didn’t know why. Our principal got up to speak. She said “Everyone I have some very important sad new.” When she said this I wasn’t guessing anymore. I knew that the next thing she would say is Mrs. Brown had passed away. Our principal still continued, “Mrs. Brown passed away earlier this morning around ten o’clock this morning.” I was right, when I looked around everyone was crying but for some reason I wasn’t. I didn’t know why, I thought maybe I had no emotion but I then realized I was in shock; I wasn’t expecting to hear that news at least not yet. As I remembered from when we made her a blanket to when we were told she had passed away, I realized that it all happened very fast and unexpectedly. The rest of the church service I couldn’t stop crying. My mascara was smeared and my foundation had lines from where my tears had run down my cheek. I had gone through about fifty Kleenex and looked absolutely miserable. As they were rolling the casket out, all I could remember were bright memories. I remember her pale white face with freckles and her warm beautiful smile greeting you every morning. Now I remember her every day. She was a truly amazing person and I will never forget her. I used to be afraid of getting out of my comfort zone and trying something new. I always though there was enough time to do things later in life when I wasn’t as shy. I now realize that life is an adventure with unexpected things. Seeing Mrs. Brown pass at such a young age made me realized that life is short and we don’t have all the time in the world to do what we want when we want. We need to live it to the fullest and make the most of the precious moments we have. I am now much more out going. I’m not afraid to be crazy when I’m with a lot of people. I try to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. I may not be good but as long as I am having fun and making the most of it that’s all the counts.
January 12, 2010