I’m not alone! She had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do for the rest of her life, and her life turned out fine. At this point that’s all I need to hear in this know-what-you-want-to-do-for-the-rest-of-your-life-at-age-14, college-obsessed world.

It was colder than I wanted October 24th, 2009. A Saturday night around 8:15 my mom and I were sitting at the dining room table. We had cleared off half of the table by pushing everything to the other half. We sat facing each other with the recorder smack dab in the middle. By this point we were nearing the end of the interview and our subject was life after high school. I was particularly interested in this because I was hoping she would give me some ideas of how to approach the decision.

“Back then it was like ok what do I want to do for the rest of my life, well I-I don’t know!” she laughed. She had taken the words right out of my mouth. Knowing that my mom, who had a job for 14 out of 15 years of my life, was in the same exact position was as me was like a pot at the end of the rainbow. At this point I honestly didn’t think most people were as clueless about their futures as I was. Everyone had at least some idea, but I felt like I was running blind. Now I knew you could support yourself, and a family, without having a life planned out.

While I was finishing up the transcription of the interview, I read the portion where my mom talked about her regrets of college. She regretted many years of on and off, and ultimately not finishing and getting a degree. While reading I imagined the way she hung her head and the look in her eyes. I realized that she wasn’t happy with the path she had chosen. I’m in the same place she was and I don’t want to look back on my life wishing I had done it differently. I especially don’t want to be stuck with a job I don’t like. I’ve already spent 10 years going to school, which I don’t enjoy, and it would be horrible to continue that for another 50 years. I also know that parents always want better for their children. My mom won’t want me following her footsteps, and I think I owe her that much.

This interview made me realize two things; I need to pick a career I enjoy doing and I need to pick a career before I go to college. If I end up jumping around like my mom did, getting jobs will be harder because I didn’t get a degree and I’ll end up stuck with a job I might not love. Seeing the look on my mom’s face is all I need to know that’s not where I want to be. I need to start truly thinking about what I want to do with my life instead of pushing it to the back of my mind. The past year and a half have gone by so fast and the rest of high school won’t slow down.

This interview gave me answers to questions about my mom’s life and provided me insight on how not to go through college. I really need to start planning my life because without an idea, I’ll end up wandering aimlessly. Even knowing all this I’d rather not think about the future; it scares the crap out of me.