plucking the hairs

After two years of the pain her hair started to fall out. The right chemo was found, but somehow I regret it. Looking back the anger and the pain was unbearable and sometimes, I just wanted it to be over…

As the hair started to fall I fell with it, pulling at her hair, just to speed the process, just so I didn’t have to wait. Waiting is the hard uncertainty you feel when everything is unsure. And so we waited.

I still feel the pressure, and I’m still waiting. The hair is fallen and so am I. Because sometimes it’s better to just allow damage to a lost cause rather than one who must still live on to become.

I still feel pain, because she’s still here. But now it hurts to recover because I know I must move on…