The starved, beaten, little girl pulled her knees to her chest and stared out the window of the car. Her body shuddered in waves of grief. Her heart throbbed. But, she couldn’t make a sound, couldn’t let the caseworker that was driving in the front seat see or hear her pain. No one could. She had to keep it to herself and stay strong. The image of her sister and brother flashed before her mind, forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut and clench her jaw. She replayed the scene that had happened ten minutes earlier.
It was so sudden, without any warning. The caseworkers had burst into her room, which was placed in the garage, some holding cameras to take pictures of each corner, while others pulled her aside to question her about her adoptive parents. The pity from their eyes tortured her as she wondered whether she should answer the questions truthfully or not. She didn’t have time to think through all the options carefully. One side of her desperately wanted to get away from there, to savor regular food again, to see the outdoors, and smell the flowers; to be freed from the shackles that held her down in that one garage day after day as her life was wasted away.
The only thing that caused her to hesitate were her siblings. She couldn’t just leave them behind. They were all she ever had in her life, the only thing she had left from her childhood. Would she really just give them up for a semi-normal life?
So she covered for them, covered for the horrible “parents” that had treated her as a mutt for the past four years. Clearly the caseworkers were unconvinced. She may have been telling them that everything was OK, but her body said otherwise. She was thin and fragile from starvation; nothing but skin and bones. Dark circles were placed beneath her dull, almost lifeless eyes and she was bruised and scarred from countless beatings.

Despite her desperate efforts, she was dragged out without seeing her siblings one last time. The parents had given her a bible and some socks to leave with. That was it. Their extent of love. That was all they could muster after stealing a big chunk of her childhood.

After giving her stiff hugs and promises that she would be back soon and everything would be alright, the parents waved one last goodbye as the little girl reluctantly climbed into the small, blue vehicle, headed to an unfamiliar place.

This memory, this family, her past is what caused the tiny, worthless tear to slip down her face and the million more that would come in future years. For that’s how she felt in the world…worthless.