Many say you should live your life to the fullest, living with no regrets. I was that way before my grandmother past on October 3rd the day of my homecoming dance. There are so many things that I regret about the couple of days before that, my life was good before that day I was happy so full of life and energy… I was just plain happy about everything.

My grandmother always did whatever she could for me, and she always did. My grandmother and I had a bond a mother and daughter would have; but better. She was always there for me and she was always on my side even when I was wrong.
Her name was Patricia, she was the happiest person I knew It was like nothing could rain on her parade and that’s what I loved the most about her. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was angry with her because she was suppose to get my nails and feet done before the day of the homecoming dance and she wouldn’t do it for me because she said I didn’t need it so I basically didn’t talk to her for the rest of the day.

But I do remember it was point of that day I fell asleep and I remember her sticking the money in my hand saying “you’re going to look beautiful tomorrow and I love you” and that was the last thing she said to . And even though she stayed the night at our house I still didn’t say anything to her the rest of the day/night.
When my mother and I came back home I remember my mom asking her if she wanted something to eat and she replied in saying no so after dinner every body just went to sleep. The next morning was the beginning of the worst day in my life. As I was waking up I could hear my mother trying to wake my grand mother but she wouldn’t budge, when I came in my room where she was sleeping she didn’t even have a pulse in her neck or her wrist.

At that very looking at my grand mothers face and my mothers face I knew at that point and moment I just knew she wasn’t coming back, she was so cold and she was starting to turn purple in the face. It was like my world was crashing down in front of me and it eats me up inside because I never had the chance to tell her sorry that I was angry and mad at her or to just tell her thank you for doing the things that she did for me.
It’s difficult not being able to see or call my grandmother whenever I want or just having her call me to see how my day is going. Almost every night since that day I’ve basically cried my self to sleep.

My life is slowly coming back together but nothing stops me from thinking about her every day I wake up wishing it was just a bad dream and that I could just wake up from it, but I’ve come to the realization that nothing can change what happened that day what’s done is done you know when its your time to go its your time to go. But i'll always have good memories of her like how she would say at my graduation she would be there screaming "thats my baby you go girl!" without her teeth in her mouth lol that was always funny to me because i knew she would do that.
“Rest in peace granny”