Everybody sees a happy girl with a smile on her face but it you look at her arms you will see the scars of a girl who has hurt herself in hopes that no one else will hurt her. She wants to quit but she is addicted. Every time she moves the blade across her arm she promises herself that it will be the last time but it never is. Her parents finally noticed what she was doing and took all her sharp objects away but she had hidden several razor blades from them. They think that she can't harm herself anymore but she can. She has also lost weight because she refuses to eat. No one understands why she is so upset. She is upset because as a child she was beaten and raped repeatedly by her father. She was put in foster care at the age of 6. She fell in love at 13 but her boyfriend left her pregnant and with a broken heart. She lost the baby when she was 3 months pregnant. She was adopted when she was 14 but one year later her adopted parents divorced and her mom moved to Maine leaving her with her father who works all the time. She is now 16 but she still wonders what kind of mom she would of been and what her baby would of looked like. Every July she counts up the years and says my baby would be 1 now or she/he would be 2 or however old she/he would be. It has taken her toll on her and she doesn't know what to do. The cuts on her arms are there because it is a reminder of how much pain she is going through and it shows people how upset she really is. It is her way of crying out for help but no one notices they just think she is upset like every other normal teenager. They forget that she is not a normal teenager. She has been though more in 16 years than any one should ever have to go through in their entire life. She is a mutilated child. Mutilated by her biological parents and mutilated by herself. No one understands a mutilated child. All they see are the scares. They look at her as if she were and alien. They just see the scares and not the pain that the girl goes through everyday. That girl is me. I am a mutilated child.
The Mutilated Child
December 17, 2009