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Thoughts of Death

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Waking up Tuesday, I wonder why my dad is still at home since he is usually at work by now. I am about to get out of bed and I overhear the conversation between my dad and my sister in front of her room. My sister was quietly listening to my dad tell her that our grandma passed away late last night. I stopped listening in shock. Hearing the grief in my dad’s voice was enough to make me unsure how to react. So I just start to get ready for school and I decide I could not face my dad that morning. I ran out the door and on the drive to school, my sisters and I were dead silent.


As the school day went on, the conversation my dad and my sister had was going through my head. I finally realized I wasn’t too emotional about my grandma passing away. I really did not know her that well, but I felt like it was wrong to not feel extremely sad. It bothered me but I felt more sympathy towards my dad. I saw it as my “dad’s mom that died” and no connection to me.


After I got home from school, my dad and I talked, and I could tell by the puffiness in his eyes that he had been all night. It hurt me to see him in that vulnerable state. I could never imagine the feeling of losing my mother. It started to make me think when I will ever be in his position. I don’t want it to happen but I know one day I will be crying over my mother’s death.
Everyone at one point in their life will have to face a painful death of someone they deeply love. “Each of the 2.5 million annual deaths in the United States directly affects four other people, on average” (Schumer). Everyone deals with grief differently. Most people have to go on with their daily lives at a certain point and sometimes even try to push it away and not deal with the sadness. It’s sad, but life goes on. It has to but there are some out there that can’t take that kind of deep emotion. According to the article,
15 % of people affected by death can’t control their emotions to the point where they can’t function normally for months or even years (Schumer). What makes those people different? I don’t think it’s that they loved the ones that died anymore than the people who moved on with their lives. It’s just that some can’t handle that kind of emotional stress.
The process of death happening so close to me made me think of how the concept works. We go through our lives going through all the little problems that don’t matter. Then when it is our time to go, what happens? People do grieve about your death, just as my dad did with his mother, but how long is it until we are forgotten? Many people try to hold the memories of their loved ones close to their hearts, but most move on. When we are six feet underground, it’s not the same reminder as being able to see and hear a person everyday. We have to put in an extra effort to remember them every single day.
It’s also hard to think that after I die and everyone that even had a memory of me dies, then I would be completely forgotten. Who would then know I even existed? I guess no one. So is that the result of all deaths; after a certain amount of years, being remembered by no one. Is that why some people fear death? The feeling of being disconnected from their world and the people in it and forgotten is enough to put fear in anyone. To put comfort in some people minds, they shouldn't care about being remembered for centuries, but instead care about making a difference in the world around them. Those small differences like loving and caring for your family deeply during your life is just as important.





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