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Laugh to keep from crying

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. But in my case I'm mean towards other and never let any one in to keep from crying. I just went to meet with my therapist, yeah I decided to a least try to get help but anyway it went something like this. So "Angela do you want to have indiviaul counseling or family?"I didn't like my therapist yet so I chose he cop out, I chose family. Worst mistake of the day! I tell you I ended up hurting my best friend, my mom. I always do but last week I made a promise to myself that I would stop lashing out at her. But she just wouldn't let up about what a mistake it would if I changed schools now that the first semester almost over. But than the therapist was just agreeing and it was bugging the crap out of me. I mean hello your MY therapist you should take MY side. but no so I sat there listening but not talking no that was not going to happen. See I was crying the whole week before about what I still don't know. But I was sick of crying and I knew if I opened up to her and told her anything the waterworks would just start back up so I shutted right on up and refuse to participate. If she wanted to agree that I shouldn't change schools though I hate it at my high school than she could kick rocks and go on talking to my mother. But I slipped and couldn't take and said just what I knew I shouldn't say but just couldn't resist saying I told just how stupid I thought her and my mom sounded and that they were idoits. I felt good saying it but the after emotion I felt sucked. Though my mother would never admit it just to spare my feelings I know I hurted hers. All I wanted was to laugh to keep from crying but I hurted others instead. But that was yesterday and today is a new day. Today I laughed but felt gulity as I thought about how I hurted my mother just so that I could laugh. It made me want to cry so the point is, sometimes you just got to let it out. Shed a few tears because it's better that way. yeah it's better if I don't hurt everyone else just becaused I'm hurt!



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