Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. But in my case I'm mean towards other and never let any one in to keep from crying. I just went to meet with my therapist, yeah I decided to a least try to get help but anyway it went something like this. So "Angela do you want to have indiviaul counseling or family?"I didn't like my therapist yet so I chose he cop out, I chose family. Worst mistake of the day! I tell you I ended up hurting my best friend, my mom. I always do but last week I made a promise to myself that I would stop lashing out at her. But she just wouldn't let up about what a mistake it would if I changed schools now that the first semester almost over. But than the therapist was just agreeing and it was bugging the crap out of me. I mean hello your MY therapist you should take MY side. but no so I sat there listening but not talking no that was not going to happen. See I was crying the whole week before about what I still don't know. But I was sick of crying and I knew if I opened up to her and told her anything the waterworks would just start back up so I shutted right on up and refuse to participate. If she wanted to agree that I shouldn't change schools though I hate it at my high school than she could kick rocks and go on talking to my mother. But I slipped and couldn't take and said just what I knew I shouldn't say but just couldn't resist saying I told just how stupid I thought her and my mom sounded and that they were idoits. I felt good saying it but the after emotion I felt sucked. Though my mother would never admit it just to spare my feelings I know I hurted hers. All I wanted was to laugh to keep from crying but I hurted others instead. But that was yesterday and today is a new day. Today I laughed but felt gulity as I thought about how I hurted my mother just so that I could laugh. It made me want to cry so the point is, sometimes you just got to let it out. Shed a few tears because it's better that way. yeah it's better if I don't hurt everyone else just becaused I'm hurt!
Laugh to keep from crying
November 19, 2009