That was a promise to myself. I told myself a thousand times: This is the secret they will never know. Am I really ready for that kind of pain?

My friends, my family, especially my family can never know. I did think of the consequences of this secret. I wasn't ready for them to know.

Was I ready for this. Probably not. I knew in my heart that this secret would break me.

So someone had to know. I told two of my best friends but now, I'm not so sure I should have. One makes a big deal out of it. The other I knew I could trust she won't tell anyone and treats me just the same.

No matter how weird it makes her feel.

Will I truly never let anyone know this secret?

That maybe?

Just maybe...

I could ruin my life with this?

Not telling who, what I truly am?

Maybe not what I truly am, not showing who I truly love.

Maybe it'll stay bottled up. Maybe I'll let it out.

I don't know.

Then again....

Who does?