The day Mikey’s heart and soul went out

October 27, 2009
By Rigel GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
Rigel GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
11 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it- Marilyn Monroe

The one sound heard in the entire abandoned building was the rifle going off like a targeting practice. I could here the bullet leaving the barrel; making this strange clicking sound like someone typing on a keyboard quickly. I stand there, in anticipation as three bullets attack Mikey like a mad dog with rabies. One bullet to his left leg, one to his heart, and one to his right shoulder. As the bullet hits his shoulder a loud snapping sound of his bone cracking, the noise so horrible like nails on a chalkboard. The screams coming from Mikey’s mouth are so impulsive, the noise so loud that I could feel something wet from my ear; I touch my right ear slowly and feel something wet I pull my hand back and my fingers covered with blood. (My ear was bleeding from the intensity of the blow from the bullet, which barely skimmed my ear. The blow of the bullet happens to have made me partially deaf.)

I fall to my knees in shock, no sound coming from my mouth as I’m trying to talk. I gently grab Mikey’s blood covered hands and he looks at me with that look of innocence that can’t be returned. Mikey looks deeply into my eyes and tells me "Rachel, I love you, not your time to go yet, but this time is mine and for you I do this as many times as I have to." Mikey’s eyes roll back into his head and his fingers loosen from my hand. The next and only thing to come to my mind is run. I got to get out of this place!

As I’m running I rember Mikey once telling me how "life’s here just to give us a glimpse of something we would have only just dreamt of, knowledge without life we wouldn’t have. To experience seeing beauty as wonderful as yours, not only this but to have love. Sometimes you’ll get caught in the wrong for what you will always stand up for no matter what."

The shock and denial of Mikey’s death hits home. --Outside is summer my mom says, get out and have fun--. The only thing I can do is stay in my bed and cry, tears roll down my face and drips off my nose, flashes of that night come back into my head. --Why did he do this for me? Why did he have to die? -- The only thing I can feel is aching in my heart. Its all my fault, I should have never got involved, I should have never asked him to go with me or to even have protect me.( I borrowed the money and I forgot to repay my Ex boyfriend who just so happened to be in a gang. If I didn’t borrow the money, we wouldn’t be in this situation.) I realize within weeks of Mikey’s death that he died for a reason not for me to give up on life all together. Days slowly get better and brighter. I finally start to have more hope. Life without him will not be the same, but he made me realize there’s more to life, than just emotions and lies, it’s deeper than can be imagined.

Mikey’s choice to die wasn’t thought twice on. Mikey knew his choice was decided and there wasn’t anything else that could be done. Mikey volunteered his life for mine; he’d do anything to keep me safe at all cost. I can't even bare to count how many times he saved me from myself. (Ever since his death I can be in a crowded room and feel alone.) I didn’t get to go to his funeral; his mother blames me for his death and everything bad that’s ever happened. --Why would I want the only one who ever mattered to die?--

I always feel remorse and spite towards myself on the day of his death. I lost my best friend/ someone who’d been like my big brother and that this all took place the day before my birthday. It was the worst present I’ve ever gotten for my birthday and I hold that deep in my heart. (In a way that became the best because I got to keep my life.) Now more than ever because of what he did for me I finally feel safe. Strange enough, I didn’t know who the shooter was, I’ve never seen the guy in my life and I'll never see him again. I don’t know why that guy shot Mikey instead of me; maybe fate had something to do with that. I sometimes wonder if I will know or even understand the reason why this happened. At times I blame myself for what happened to Mikey because I asked for his help, I’m the one who messed up not him, but he would always put his life up for mine. To Mikey life would be nothing without me and he knew that for him Id make something out of myself. Mikey is still and always will be a reason for me to want to succeed in things and to get me somewhere in life, and thanks to him I’m still alive today.

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