This is for you because I still love you. This is for you cause you were always there for me. This is for you because you never stopped caring. I want you to know that you still my best friend, that hasn't changed. I want you to know that I still consider that song our song, and that I think of you every time I hear it. I want you to know that you're the first person I loved, and I'll never forget that. I miss you. I miss you a lot. I hope you know how much better you are than me, you've always deserved more than me. I wish you knew how incredibly much I care for you, and that you can count on me not to mess things up again. I know I promised that before, and I let it all fall through...it's the biggest mistake and regret of my life. I would do anything to take everything back. You should know that I know I can't blame you. I did this to myself. You should know that whatever you decide I'm still going to care, I'm still going to love you. You should know that I hate when people tell me to give up and find someone else because I won't, I can't. I'll keep trying forever if I have to. And if it takes forever to get through to you for one day, it will all be worth it. You should know that you'll never understand, and I don't expect you to, because I don't think I'll ever understand myself. You should know that I'll love you until the day I die. I hope you know I wish I could say certain things, that I wish I wasn't just afraid. I hope you know that I'd do anything for you, you mean the world to me. I hope you know you've done so much for me that I could never repay you, and how much I wish I could. There is so much for me that I have to thank you for, but thank you's are so pointless. So useless compared to you and what you've done. You most likely don't know all that things you've done but regardless, it means more to me than you'll ever know. You should know you are the most amazing person I know. You should know that I care about you more than you think. You should know that I'm so afraid I'm going to do something that will mess things up or hurt you again. I would do anything to guarantee that won't happen again, but I don't know how. You should know that I hope if anyone gets hurt again, it's me.
This Is For You
October 23, 2009