I don't know why I love him, I just do.

October 24, 2009
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Why does every thought revolve around him?
'We need snack at school. Im hungry! I wonder if Andrew* thinks the same thing?' or 'Ugh! This homework is so hard! Maybe Andrew could tutor me!' and 'Doo,doo,doo. Better check my profile for anything new. Andrew could have commented.'
That's how it goes. Right now I'm feeling that you could ask me anything, and I could relate it to him. Try it.
Why though? Why should he be the one? Whats so special about him? As Mom always says, 'You shouldn't ask questions that don't have answers.' And that's right. I dont know why I love him. I just do.
Its way to complicated for some one of my age (13, and rockin it! Andrew's still 12 though.) All I want to do is scream out, "ANDREW! ANDREW! I LOVE YOU, CAN'T YOU SEE?"
I've tried everything to fix this. Getting over him (And let me just note that this had in fact, not worked.), asking him out (I wouldn't really count that though because I didn't ask him, thanks to my whimpy guts!), and taking my thoughts and placing them somewhere else. Like T.V., books, and music.
Nothing worked. Just like when I tried to 'accidentally' run into him, but he walks way too fast.
You see what I mean?!
MAybe I should just go on like this. Just keep loving him forever on. Looking in his direction to make sure hes still there and I wasn't just dreaming him. Counting how many footsteps he takes when he disappears into the crowd in the hall. Waking up with the thought that this could be the day where I just can't take the pain of loving him anymore and doing something about it. But then all that washes away by his beauty.
I think I will stay like this, watching from a distance.I could swear he gets more beautiful everyday. But that's just me.
*= awayObvious name change

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This article has 14 comments. Post your own now!

beFREEbeWISEbeYOU said...
Jun. 5, 2011 at 1:09 pm
I think it really is ok (even good) to ask questions that don't seem to have answers. Lots of greatly talented, creative people did and still do. I challange you to keep asking questions!
whatIreallythink said...
Mar. 18, 2010 at 5:23 pm
I like a guy who is 3 1/2 years older htan me. I hardly know anything about him but my every thought and action involves him. If I see him I cannot be unhaapy the rest of the day. i decided last night I need to stop obsessing. I'm 13 and i can't date for 5 years, he's not a christian and I am so I would have to turn him down anyway, and like i said I hardly know anything about him. i just don't know if I can stop living for him....
Baby_kay24 said...
Jan. 31, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I know exactly how you feel. Everyday I go to school and I see the guy of my dreams in my homeroom and then in my 2nd elective but when I pass him going to the bus. He's not alone he is in the arms of a 7th grader while he is an 8th grader, and is two years older than her age wise and 1 older than me.
NeverEVERShoutANGEL!! replied...
Jan. 31, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Aww! I'm so sorry!
I hope he realizes that you're the one for him , not that 7th grader!
Baby_kay24 replied...
Jan. 31, 2010 at 5:06 pm
Thanks and the 7th grader he dates nobody likes to keep it clean she is a butt lol.....but everyone says he likes me and i kinda think so too so .....maybe every1 thinks we r good for eachother and he will relize it
NeverEVERShoutANGEL!! replied...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 5:40 pm
I hope he does too! Aww , I feel so sad for you! He'll come around once he finds out what he's missing.(;
Grace said...
Jan. 13, 2010 at 6:39 pm
wow, when i read this i felt like i wrote it. this is EXACTLY how i feel about the guy i like!!
Suzy D. said...
Nov. 2, 2009 at 2:11 pm
i no wat u mean its sad=(
savannah4517 said...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 3:03 pm
I can completely relate, great story haha.
QuaddyAnn said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 8:14 pm
I can relate I can't live a day without this one guy I love/hate
KiraKira said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 5:16 pm
I can relate. Except in this case, he's my ex and he has a new girlfriend. It is so hard to get over him. And part of me knows I can't. I love how you have written this. oh, and listen to Paramore. They are an amazing band, and they help me when I have nothing to turn to. :)
SweetXxXTart18 replied...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I totally agree! Paramore is awesome!!! And aww =[ Im sorry that happened with the ex that you like who has a gf =[
KiraKira replied...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Have you heard The Final Riot or Brand New Eyes? I listen to that alot. It helps. Yeah, but he's a jerk. Turns out he was going to break up with me, but then just got a new gf without telling me. Then after a month he says we should break up. Jerk.
KiraKira replied...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 10:27 pm
oh, and I totally agree. He gets more beautiful every day because its like forbidden/should not be loving him kind of thing. We don't talk to each other anymore because I usually start shouting at him.
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