Senior Year

October 22, 2009
My mind is spinning like a tilt-a-whirl. My stomach cringes with fear. My emotions are all over the place. My mood changes like a student’s Facebook status. Is this what senior year is supposed to be like?

So far this year, my emotions have been all over the place. I am happy to be back, but at the same time I’m frustrated with the conditions. I want to be able to enjoy my senior year, but every time I try, something happens and I feel as though I’m never going to get be able to enjoy it. I’m excited to be a senior, but at the same time sad to think I’m leaving this place that I love and hate so much. I’m constantly trying not to worry about every little thing, but for me that’s hard. I have all this anger and confusion inside me. I don’t know how this happened. This year in general is going to be tough, but I’m going to prove I can do it.

I have so much pressure being put on me, that it’s eating away at me like a hungry caterpillar munching on a leaf. I have pressure from my parents, my teachers, and even Culver. I have pressures to do well in school, to get into a good college, and all these pressures build up and it gets to be too much. I know there are good intentions being put forth, but it doesn’t help.

With my parents, their pressure has to do with me succeeding in school. They have good intentions, but they go about it the wrong way. My parents are constantly putting pressure on me to do well in school, but some of the things they say are hurtful. For instance if I get a bad grade on a test, they tell me I’m never going to get into college. I know they mean well and are just trying to motivate me, but they don’t understand that I don’t get motivated that way. Instead that just makes me upset and I feel worthless.

With Culver, it’s a little different. Culver puts so much pressure on its students to succeed, that it gets over whelming. Like my parents; Culver means well, but their pressure is too much. Every night we have a set time period to do our homework. We are given two hours in which we are expected to complete our homework, however most of the time this isn’t possible. A lot of times it takes those two hours just to get one homework assignment done, let alone all of them. Culver also expects us to be in some sort of sport or intramural, but with sports that also takes up homework time. So the pressure gets to be too much to handle at times.

Despite my anger and frustration with the school, I have learned a lot from Culver. It has helped me grow as an individual, and I have acquired skills that will help me in life. While I don’t always agree with Culver or my parents, I am thankful for the opportunity they both have given me to come here. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am today.

As for senior year….I may not like how it’s going, but I’m thankful to be where I am. To know I have made it this far, gives me hope and perseverance to achieve my goals. I know that I will have to overcome many more obstacles that come my way, but in the end I will prove that I am meant to be a CULVER GRAD.

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CaseyLeigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Well-written. :]
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