Still Beats For You

October 20, 2009
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The first time I thought I was in love I feel hard for this guy named Alan. Even though in my head I knew we couldn’t really BE together. It was 2007-2008, a typical normal day for me at school; logging onto the computer, getting away from all the drama. But today was different, today was the day when I met the only boy who could melt me away, but I didn’t know then, that Alan was the only boy who could tear me down and make me feel like nothing.

On this website, I recently go on; you could listen to music and be able to message other people. I met my true love on this site. We began talking for a month, but it just seemed like 2 years to me. After that little bit of time talking, Alan wanted more then friendship with me. I was in total shock, but then again relieved. I said yes almost automatically. The only strange thing was that he lived in New Mexico and I lived in Michigan. He said he didn’t care about the distance (and neither did I), he only cared about me.

We spent each moment together in each others hearts, minds, phone calls, and at that website. We were completely honest with each other, didn’t cheat and told each other our deepest darkest secrets.

Until Alan dumped me for this girl he claims he liked since middle school. Yes, I was devastated, but I still loved him.

About 4 months has past and I finally got a hold of him. Turns out Alan and his girlfriend broke it off a few weeks before the 4th of July. Alan told me how much he missed me, how much he loved me. He told me he didn’t know how much he loved me until he had lost me. Since Alan opened up to me, I opened up to him. He swore he still loves me, but doesn’t want a relationship with me. He just wanted a “friends with benefits” relationship.

It’s been awhile since I heard his sweet, comforting voice or even had any contact with him, Alan doesn’t want a thing to do with me, but that’s another story.

You were the only boy who could melt me away, and you were the only boy who could tear me down and make me feel like nothing.

P.S. It stopped beating for you

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

LibraryLady said...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 11:25 am
I loved your story especially the way that you ended it.
22much4me replied...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 11:27 am
thanks ") that means alot to me. i know this is sort of dumb. but at least its true and it's a start. i wanna say thanks for believing in me.
LibraryLady replied...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 11:42 am
I have always believed in you and your writing. I don't think it was dumb at all, don't sell yourself short!!! Like you said, it's a start and now just keep it real and put it out there!! I'm proud of you :)
22much4me replied...
Nov. 8, 2009 at 9:36 am
awww thanks ") and you know how i am! i always keep it real lol!!!! i'm a strait up Gangster Mrs. Taylor lol
writer24/7/365 replied...
Feb. 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I'm so sorry. In a way, something similar happened to me. But I don't think it will end.
22much4me replied...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 9:51 am
i know how you feel.....really.....
and i hope your situation will last longer than mine...don't make the same mistake i did. i was stupid and young.....only cared about myself.......i messed things up between me and him...don't mess it up for you guys ")
i'm counting on you for it ")
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