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out in the cold

My heart would race one-hundred beats faster whenever you were near. Your smile made me smile and your eyes always twinkled as we talked. When you kissed me, the whole world would hold its breath and I’d spend the rest of the day replaying those tender moments over and over until we were together again. We cuddled and laughed and hugged and held hands. You would hold me close if I was cold and comfort me if I was sad. I felt uneasy without your arms around me and always wondered what you would think about, those times we were apart. I loved how nervous I made you, the first few times we hung out alone; it made me fall for you even more. Your laugh made me laugh; it was so musical and contagious and after awhile I only enjoyed the sound of it above anyone else’s. I would spend my entire period counting down the minutes till I could see you at the in-between class time in the senior hallway.
And then one day…I saw you with her. She was a Junior, played varsity volleyball, and had legs that stretched to high heaven. I was so upset I couldn’t even think properly and I hurried past you in a blur and ran all the way to my car. When you tried to talk to me at the end of the day as we both sauntered out the front doors of the school, I didn’t want to see you at all. It broke my heart and instead, tears welled up in my now puffy eyes and I told you to “just go.”

We have not spoken since. Occasionally we’ll pass in the halls, an awkward head nod acknowledging each others existence, but nothing more. You’ve given that to her now, and left me out in the cold. I no longer have you there to keep me warm…





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