Watching, waiting silking through the halls wanting so much for him to just notice me. If he did that than I would know that he thought I was worth something more than what I could ever be. Lying to myself that he knew me and wanted to have anything at all to do with me. Hopes and dreams are dashed when you see him holding her hand and probably whispering in her ear how perfect she is. Shaking my head violently not wanting it to be true wanting to be the one he was holding close. LET HIM LOVE ME just kept repeating in my head as the pain slowly subsided to a dull roar. I went through the rest of that week dead to the world not saying hi to anyone, like it even mattered. Everyone could see right through my hurt and why and they were all laughing at my stupidity at thinking he could love the new girl. Then I saw him waiting by MY LOCKER and where was she nowhere to be seen and I mustered up my courage and went to him. Jessie he said I tried to get you to notice me and it didnt seem to work, then I tried to make you jealous and it just hurt you both. I do love you and thats all that matters, and I think we've both been waiting a long time for this.
October 5, 2009