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Bliss

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It was 3 o clock in the morning, and I was struggling to sleep, as usual. There has never been a night in my life when sleep has come easy. It has always been induced forcefully, with drugs and narcotics, or even holding my breath just long enough to pass out. Sleeplessness was normal for me. I’m too stressed, or something somewhere was disturbing my very sensitive ears. The usual. But tonight was different. I was feeling good, the house was quiet, and my room was the perfect temperature. Tonight my chest was swelling like a thousand arrowheads simultaneously piercing my heart. I knew something was wrong. I knew it was her. I began to sweat, something was wrong with her. I flew out from under my covers and grabbed my phone.

Buzz, buzz. I opened my eyes, crusty, and still very weak. I glanced around and, realizing my phone was ringing, scooted to the side of my bed. I picked up the old Samsung and slipped it open. “Good morning sleepy head.” It was Sierra.

“Hey baby what’s wrong?” I said, monotonously, despite the fact I was boiling with anger for being awoken so early on a Saturday. I glared at the clock. 7:30 a.m. I huffed.
“I just called to let you know that that picnic is today, so I won’t be able to text you much.” Sierra always made a habit of telling me everywhere she went, not that I minded the updates, I just wished she could have informed a tad bit later.

“That’s fine baby, have fun.” I replied ignoring the mumbles in my head.
“Thanks babe, I’ll talk to you later, I love you.”

“I love you too baby girl, bye.” Click. I closed my phone, and my eyes. Funny thing is, despite all my growling and pouting about waking up so early, I meant every word I had said to Sierra. I really did love that girl, just maybe not so early.

We were a typical love-lust-hormonoly-infatuated-jealous-over-zealous-honeymoon-consumed teenage couple. It was honest love, just love everyone else said would never last. Not that I believed them, but I wasn’t immune to worry. Needless to say I was doing well. I had a great girlfriend, despite my not-ugly-but-not-really-good-looking stature, I had a lot of friends, mostly band geeks, but how much more loyal can you get than band? My grades were fine. My family was stable, life was good. That Saturday however, my life changed forever. I was feeling normal that morning but by the end of the day my entire world had transformed. Around 3 I got a text from Sierra. “Call me.” Worried, I ran to the silence of my room and flipped open my phone. It rang twice before she answered.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” My panic was widely noticeable by now, I knew something was wrong.
“Brendan,” She had been crying, sobbing by the sounds of it. “Brendan I’m pregnant.” My world stopped. Emotions flooded my mind. I sat back against my bed, and I froze. I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. “Brendan?” Her concerned and sobbing voice brought me back. She made me realize what I now had to become.
“O.k. baby O.k. Oh my god” I shuddered. “O.k. baby. It’s going to be just fine, we will figure this out.” We talked for hours. We discussed our feelings and strategies on how to tell our parents. We cried together. She was going to keep the baby, and I would be right there with her. I was going to be a dad. At 17. I had to grow up fast. I had to fast forward through my high school years, and skip out on the rest of my childhood. I had to sacrifice the rest of my life, and perhaps the best part is; I was willing to do all that and more for my baby, and he hadn’t even been born yet. I wonder how much more he will mean to me in 9 months, when I can touch his face, and hold him against my chest. I wonder how much bigger three words had increased my capacity to love. I was very soon to find out. My life had been transformed, and it was going to be good, it always was. When I see that little baby’s face I know exactly what I’ll feel: Bliss.





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Maddie H. said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 10:23 pm
This is a great story! I did not see the twist coming. I can kind of relate, because I was 14 when my baby brother was born and wehn I saw his face it was absolute bliss. Though I was not his parent, i think our emotions may have been similiar. Has the baby been born yet? If you don't mind me asking. Good Luck!
 
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