The Hateful Subject

By , BKK, Thailand
54, 45, 48, etc… those were familiar score on right top corner of my English exam paper. The red inked number detestably told me the unfortunate new as usual. The settlement for the tests in my middle school; people with below 60 percents on their exam MUST attend to supplementary lessons. After school instead of club activity, I headed to the hell like supplementary lesson. I resented the existence of English, even though it was totally my fault. Each time I swear to get at least 60 percent on the exam, but every time I end up with the HELL. I could not understand English, English gave me headache and I never attempted to study English by myself, in fact, I hated English.

Ice cold winter wind fetched unpredictable situation. Gathering us for the family meeting, composedly my father began, “well… you know Thailand?” Searching my face for approval, he launched to provide big news, “… I transfer to Thailand” what is that? I tried to respond but my mouth open still unconsciously. “You must come with me” father continue “I leave here in two months.” Every his words did not make sense to me. His unlikely news turned off every sound in my house, silence. The questions circled in my brain, I was in the dark. Move to other country? I had never thought that kind of things would happen to me, and never expected. He hesitantly added capital information, “hum… there is no Japanese high school at all, so you must enroll to international school.” The aspect shocked me even more. Inside of my head the unstoppable questions emitted one after another. How can I stay there? How to study? What should I do? Etc… I throw the questions to my father; he gave me the answer coherently trying to convince me. There was war like discussions going on, the time passed quickly. His strong insistence persuaded me and, eventually, I diced to move to Thailand.

Once I made a big decision, I began to disclose it to my friends and teachers. Nobody believe me, even I talk with serious expression on my face. “No kidding” everybody replied with laughing. My serious news seemed to be a laughingstock for them. However, their reactions were making sense to me. I was a student, who got fail grad on every English exam. My ranking on the English grad was easily counted from the bottom, not the top. Moreover, I was a clientele for the supplementary lesson. No wander, how they responded. Spring came and my father left Japan.
The report spread in my middle school. Therefore, my friends realized; what I said was truth. They started to accuse me, “are you sure that?” “You should think about it again.” Everybody stood in opponent’s side. Even teachers, “you should change your plan” “how come you reached to the decision?” Shut up! I wanted to shout. Trying to be clam, I explained my though. Some comprehensible friends change their face into sympathy. None of their respond changed my mind, this time I realized how obstinate person am I. Even though, there was not 50 percent of friends’ concurred on my statement, I did not prepare for Japanese High school exam.

I came to other planet! There are no humans but Aliens! That was first impression at Redeemer, which is international school that I enrolled in Thailand. Their language seemed me not English but other planet language; I could not think anybody in the classroom was a human, but an alien from other planets. I was completely in wrong place, and I regarded about my decision. Smell of cilantro in the canteen, the spicy tested noodle, and the way friends sit on the chair, every thing was strange and bothered me. I hate did place! My brain was filled out by regression. However, there were some people who speak familiar language, Japanese, to help me. They comforted the way I feel toward the school life. First year of the school life, it was like a jailed life, no freedom; I cannot speak, cannot understand anything and have no skill to communicate with others. Although, one day, I felt “I am belonged.” it was just the time, my life in Redeemer turned the second year. I communicate, I chat and I argue with them, who I regarded as aliens before. Since then I became more actively and the life became really fun. At the same time I started to have a new dream; to have jobs that somehow relating to English.


Even though, I was such a bad English learner in middle school, by giving a lot of effort I could overcome, and become better. By this experience, I could know how important to concentrate on doing things, give a lot of effort and be challenger. Also I could learn the value of English and I could get the skill of English and new dream. “Nothing is impossible, just try first, it would give me some benefits.” I tell myself every time when I have conflict to do things.





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