Let It Fade

September 25, 2009
Head over heels. The moment I laid eyes on him; a complete stranger. He walked through the door, and I immediately knew I needed to go ahead and look away, before I got attached. But it was already too late. I liked him; I liked him a lot. Yet, I didn’t even know his name.

It hasn’t ever hit me that hard before, a crush. Normally it develops over time, through long conversations, and random laughing; but not this time. Nope, it was an automatic attraction.

Of course, I know we’ll never be more than friends, like everything else involving him, I could tell right away that my feelings would go to waste. Even so, I let myself like him; I let his name excite me, I let his voice soothe me, I let his attention go to my head, and (worst of all) I let myself daydream about him. I knew this was a huge mistake, but still, I took the risk of being disappointed.

Now, I can feel my silly crush fading. Not to say the feelings are gone, just the false hope I let myself feel. I no longer let myself daydream; it would have only led to more hurt for me. I feel myself getting over him, preparing for him to find someone else, and preparing to deal with rejection.

No need to worry though, I’m okay. I knew from the beginning that this was coming; since the moment he walked in the door. At that moment I fell hard for him, but I also braced myself to hit the ground. Now all I have to do is let it fade. Not disappear, just diminish. Like the picture of a memory, that never should have been.

Inspired By: The One That Gets Away

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