What if you could take a pill that makes you smarter… would you do it? At what cost? Being a junior in highschool, most people my age are in a rush to get diagnosed with ADHD, so they can have extra time on their ACT or SAT and are granted legal access to the holy grail, known as ADHD medication. A pill that essentially makes you smarter.

ADHD is classified by excessive hyperactivity and the inability to pay attention.  I was diagnosed when I was nine, and the diagnosis process as I remember it, was extremely easy. But the big issue is the epidemic of ADHD medicine. Everyone is either selling, buying, or taking it. I started taking ADHD medicine when I was twelve. My mom was extremely against it at first but was left with no choice when I was nearly failing the seventh grade. Once I started regularly taking it, my grades drastically increased although I found myself feeling extremely anxious and depressed, not to mention my complete loss of appetite. Being so young, I hadn’t connected the dots between my sudden change in mood, to the medication I had been taking.

Four years later I’ve tried an abundance of different pills to try to find the perfect fit for me but I have yet to find it. I’ve tried not taking them at all but since I've been so dependent on them for years, I never had learned the skills that lead to success in school.  I’ve been unknowingly relying this medication to be my brain. I’ve found myself having eaten nothing all day without even realizing, when I’m under the medications influence. The pills make me feel dull and unimaginative. Sometimes I feel like I’ve cheated at life by taking this medication, it does all the work for me. But how will I function without it for the rest of my life to come? Will I always be a slave to this pill?

I often feel like I am two different people. Me on my pill and me off my pill. This tends to be the most frustrating part of it all. On my pill I do well in school, off my pill I do horribly in school. On my pill I am focused, off my pill I am unmotivated. On my pill I am bland, off my pill I am creative. On my pill I am anxious, off my pill I am carefree. So this is the constant battle I face between my grades and myself. I will not be a slave to a tiny gelatin capsule any longer. I choose me.