Sweet music played along where nostalgic dreams danced. Memories played as a cinema in my mind. Your black silky hair dripped to your mid waist, as your ink droplets, through which you see the world, quirk up with your beautiful smile. A smile where even the sun envies you. Your warm colored hand gently caressed my conscious. For I couldn’t wake up. Or more so, I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to stay in this memory forever and not face the harsh reality. The reality in which we weren’t together anymore. I miss you. I crave and desire to one day feel the caress of a motherly touch again. To feel engulfed into the smell of your honey perfume once more. I want to able to hear your voice. A voice which to many may not be pleasant to listen to when sung, but a voice in which brings me comfort. A voice that brings my tides of anxiety and anguish into a calming river. You were the first to embrace my small figure when I came into this world. A world of chaos and destruction. Yet, you were able to protect me from the evil within and show me the beauty. You are the reason I didn’t become one with the chaos. But in every perfection, comes a fault. I know you meant no harm, for all you did was love me, or at least try to. For I know it wasn’t you who caused the wounds of emotion, but rather, what was in you. A term which the world and science describes as a mental illness. A label society places on a human being. A label which causes judgement, as if you had a defect when you were molded into a living cell. Many may consider a better term to use instead though. Crazy. This “better” term was used frequent in our heritage, and I know this is why you may not want to accept the truth. But to me, it isn’t crazy. For I know that it wasn’t you who would wish upon having it. There can be no blame in you, for you live in a cover of reality. I wish I can one day, uncover the luminous blanket of delusion to show you the beauty of reality. A reality which is shown to those who are privilege to see life as is. As I remember you in every form, I’m falling out of the darkness that clouds my vision. Slowly, bright rays of sunshine meet my gaze. As I lay awake in bed, streams of salty water come into the corner of my eyes. For I have woken up from my own delusion.
April 19, 2018