A Spin Off of Theme for English B

March 6, 2018
By Anonymous

Let this page come out of you and then it will be true, here this goes. I love to write, but I can’t write about myself. I can write about how much pain I’m in, or the past that never seems to leave me alone. I can write about the family issues that keep me up at night or the boy that never treated me right. I can write about the fact that I have been taken advantage of, or that the word trust is no longer in my vocabulary. I can write about the night I took pills to try and take my life away, or the night that never seemed to turn to the following day. I can write about many things, but myself isn’t one. I can write about how after that night, I felt no purpose in living. As that night, a boy took parts of myself away, that I never knew existed. I can write about the numerous rude things people said the next day, as the boy spread what had happened to everyone. I can write about how that boy missed one tiny detail, he forced me. I can write about how I didn’t want to report it because I didn’t want anyone else to know. I can write about how I blanked out that night after he forced me to do something I didn’t want to do. For some reason, I can’t write about how great it felt to finally get away from all that. How great it felt, to finally define myself as something other than “that girl”. I can’t write about how great it felt to finally find myself again and how happy I finally feel. I can’t write about the feeling I got when everything finally seemed to get better. But, I’m working on it. It will take me a lot to build up the courage to do that, but, at the right time and the right day, I know I’ll be able to. Every day I try a little harder, to get back to being the girl I used to be. It feels so good to be able to say that, and I wish I could go into detail and write pages upon pages about how good it feels. I can’t and hopefully one day I’ll be able to write about it. It’s just going to take some time, but I will continue to work on it until the job is done.  I will work until I can write about happiness and positivity. I will work on it until I can have an effect on the word in a good, positive way.

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