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I was born in a hospital room at 3:45 P.M. october 23, 2004. I was born a week late. I was born into a strange family. A father full of anger and hate, a mother full of sadness of confusion. And the worst part my parents were completely alone raising me, no one in my family tried to help these first time parents. And when my sister was born i tried to help them but she turned out a little selfish and bratty from being spoiled.
Denise. Denise is my little sister. Born on December 3, 2006, she is 11 years old so she is bound to be annoying. I remember when we were little kids i was her best friend, we did everything together, including getting in trouble. But due to her being spoiled she goes under the radar of discipline, were as i get in trouble of breathing too loud. I know she doesn't meant to be a brat, but she is so used to doing whatever she wants that she actually doesn't know what she does wrong. Now Denise has more friends than fingers and hates my guts. But she's my sister and i lover her, brat or not.
I've lived in tons of houses. The first house i can remember living in is a house in indiana, it was one of the best houses i've lived in. it had 4 bedrooms, my parents had a room, me and my sister shared a room, my older brother chris had a room, and my older sister katie had a room. That was when they still visited. We moved into an apartment after that. I have tons of bad memories in that place. We moved in with my grandfather in louisville, that's where we found out my grandmother was still alive. Then we moved into another house, where i met my best friend, kara. We left and moved to shepherdsville, that's where i am now.
In all i've been to a total of 5 schools and i've hated all of them except this one. I've been bullied all my life, except in this school. It's was mainly about my skin color and that i act like a boy sometimes. In second grade i lost my friend because i was white and she was black. I guess she didn't want to get teased for hanging out with me. In third grade on the bus i was sitting in my seat and i felt something pulling on me i turned around and a older kid yanked my backpack off and yelled “stupid white kid!” then he threw it off the bus. In fourth grade i was walking up the stairs to go to my classroom and a girl named shianne slapped me in the face. I asked why and she said it was because she saw me tryout for the basketball team. In fifth grade i was walking with my friend madison and a girl named miracle came up to me and slapped me, she was about to hit me again but madison had gotten a teacher. This is the only school where i had not gotten bullied and i love it.
To me a friend is someone you can depend on to make you feel better, someone who is always there for you, someone who cares about you. i don't have much friends but the friends i do have are Sydney, Emily, Aubrey Waters, Samantha, and Malaya. i have a couple friends in Louisville too there names are Kara and Madison. I don't have any friends that are related to me, that is because i don't really like my family. me and sydney are best friends, me and emily are best friends. me and aubree are good friends, me and samantha are good friends, aubree and samantha are best friends so i’m not either of their best friend because they don't really talk to me when there together, me and malaya are best friends and she likes anime like me so were AMAZING friends.
The farthest back I can remember is being at home and heiring my little sister cry in her crib. At the time i was like 3 years old, but i still got up and took her out of her crib and calmed her down. I haven't achieved any major things, but i have achieved things that are major to me like living everyday after my best friend killed herself when i was in 5th grade, or going to school when my grandfather died of lung cancer.
Going to school after my best friend killed herself was hard. She was a grade ahead of me so i hardly seen her in school. I didn't know she was bullied, she didn't say. If i asked she’d laugh at me. But when i got the letter i cried, i didn't want to believe it. I don't know where her grave is, her parents won't tell me, i can't even visit her body. Hering what she did i don't want to believe it, i can't believe it. Her parents said she swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills.
When my grandfather died it was like my whole world was shutting down. My grandfather was our savior, he protected us, he helped us, he made me who i am. My grandfather was more of a father than my actual dad. In fact he protected us from my dad. Before he died when we were struggling he would be their to help us. Then one day he went to the hospital and they said he had lung cancer. He came back and told my mom, she was crying for 3-4 hours. We didn't know till he only had a couple months left. Even then he fought and lasted longer than expected 2 ½ months longer to be exact. I will never forget my grandfather, my hero. He died in his bed in his bedroom with all of our family their to say goodbyes.
I've written some stories and pieces of poetry. I haven't gotten an award for any but i've shared some and got some compliments from some people and that's award enuff. I've written about suicide, depression, stress, and a couple of happy pieces . i love writing because it lets my express my feelings in a special way.
I have a passion for writing and drawing. I think writing is a beautiful form of art. Writing is a way of expressing my opinions and getting over what is wrong with me. I think i like drawing because it's fun to let my imagination run wild and i can create a beautiful masterpiece. The art piece may not look professional, or even good but it's mine and that to me is the best part of it.
Some of my dreams for my future is to graduate from college and become a therapist. I want to become a therapist because i know the need of needing to talk to someone and i think i can help the kids who need that. If i can't be a therapist, or i change my mind, i would like to be a vet. I want to be a vet because i love animals. I like animals more than people so a vet is a good dream for me. If all else fails i think i could become a teacher to educate and inspire all of the children in the school, even though i don't like kids.
Some of my hopes are to just grow up already, i want to grow up so i can go to college and live in a dorm instead with my parents. Another hope is to get a therapist so i can get rid of my emotional problems. I also hope that my parents divorce so i don't have to deal with my dad, i know that's a very rude thing to say but i have to listen to him yell at my mom every day. Even when she does nothing he yells and this morning they were arguing and he threw out his wedding ring on to the road while we were in the car.
I have lots of fears. I've developed these fears throughout my life. I'm afraid of sharing my feelings, i'm afraid of my anger, i'm afraid of people, i'm afraid of sharing who i am. I have these fears from being bullied or watching people in my family have these fears. And i'm afraid that i can't get over these fears. I can't share my feelings because i'm afraid people won't understand them, i'm afraid of my anger because my dad has anger and all of his kids hate him for it i don't want people to hate me, i'm afraid of people because i've had bad experiences with people in general, and i'm afraid of sharing who i am because i don't want to get judged or picked on.