Losing My Dad

January 11, 2018
By kmon02 BRONZE, Spring, Texas
kmon02 BRONZE, Spring, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

My dad was the best dad that anyone could ask for. He was a huge guy, he stood at a staggering 6’5”. He was a big guy. When he would reach down and swoop me into the air, I would squeal with delight. Whenever I was sad I would go give him a hug, because his hugs were the best. I knew when I was in his arms I was always safe. But now I can’t run into his arms, I’m not safe anymore.

It was a gloomy, cold morning. That morning I woke up having a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. This morning wasn’t like any of the other mornings. It was different. I went on with my morning- trying not to notice that the feeling was still there. When I was getting ready to leave for the bus, my dad stopped all of us. One by one, he wrapped his strong arms around, engulfing us in a long, bear hug. He told us he loved us very much, and said goodbye. But this goodbye was different. When our eyes met, I didn’t see the glacial blue eyes, fringed with his beautiful lashes. Instead I saw pain. Like he has been crying. I didn’t give that a second thought. Because, his eyes might have just been rheumy. Little did I know, he had been crying. He was hurting. That feeling I had earlier? Yeah, that was still there. At this point, I could not ignore it. It was 6th period; I was in Art class. I got a note saying I was needing to go down to the nurse. I was confused; the walk felt seemingly-endless. As I entered the office I was startled to see my siblings there too. As i was sitting down, I glanced at the office ladies. Their facial expressions looked pained. When they saw that i  noticed, they all turned the other way and started whispering to one another. A few moments later, The counselor came into the office. Her moist, watery eyes told me something happened. She told my siblings and I to to to her office with her. When we approached her office, I saw that my family was there. That was an unusual sight for me because, they never came to the school. Once, my siblings and I got into the room; My mom told us to sit down in a raspy, whispering voice. I knew she was hurt. I knew she was pained. I knew she was saddened. When we alls at down, she looked at all of us. She began to tell us that something bad happened. She said it involved my dad. She told us that he passed away. At that moment, my world came crashing down. At first, I didn’t know what to do. Should I cry? Should I be mad? What should I be? At that instant, I shut everyone out. I didn’t cry until we were home. It was real now. The trees that surrounded us, they didn’t seem alive anymore. The leaves that had fallen onto the ground, they were silent and dead. When I walked into our house, It was so still. Like everything passed away with him. It felt unreal. Like that couldn’t have happened. But it did happen, it was real. But that is my reality now. Everyone goes through moments of sadness in a lifetime of ups and downs. But its only the strongest people who can find happiness after the fact. 3 years later, I’m still grieving. I’m still going through hard times. But, my dad passing away made me a stronger person. Now, I treat people like I’m gonna lose them. I love more. I live more. I respect more. I now understand that I can lose anymore at any time.

The author's comments:

This is a memoir about the day I lost my dad. Hopefully people get out of this that it's ok to grieve and be saddened.

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