Beep beep! I open my eyes to a blurry faint sunlight. The feeling of being stuck to my bed like glue. The crisp morning air hitting my face. My body is working but my mind is gone as i'm in my sleep deprived state. I feel like i'm walking through mud as my body cannot function, I was so dazed completely forgot why I am up at this time. Until I heard my mom shout from down the stairs.
“Today’s the day.”
My mind drew a blank, I got a chill up my spine like a spider creeping up my back. My mind slowly turns into an anxiety filled war zone as it was the night before. As my stomach crawls with butterflies, I knew that I will slowly be torn apart by all of the relentless overthinking.
I knew this day would come eventually, but not this soon. It felt like life was on fast forward to this. Now I have to do the thing that nobody wants to ever go through again. Today is the day that I will face my fear since the first day I have ever jumped into the driver's seat.
I open the car door, knowing that terror is just a few minutes away. Once I pull in that testing area my hands start to sweat, my body starts to shake. My mind is taking over and I will never forget what my mom said to me.
“Deep breath. You’ll be fine”
I will never forget that exact moment when she said that. Knowing that somebody believes in me, this just took the excruciating pressure off my shoulders. My mind goes into a complete new place than it was moments before. Calm and peaceful and saying that sometimes on the other side of fear is success, you just have to get over that wall that has been holding you back.
In this exact moment it all turned into a blur, I was on the open road with an open mind. No more anxiety. No more shaking. No more sweat. Just plain confidence and that was all I needed. The test was going smooth a silk and all of that anxiety that built up in my body went away in a blink of an eye. Before I knew it I was done. The amount of joy I had when I entered back into reality and looked the instructor with the biggest grin on her face, she said “Great job.”