Life Changing

By , battle creek, MI

This story that i am going to tell you is hard for me to bring back because I try to keep it pushed down inside that one spot in your body that you keep things that are dreadful. Things that  you don't want to bring up and you just want to leave them pushed down. Sometimes you have to bring them up just to make the pain better that you keep bottled up until it explodes. I will remember this day till the day i die sometimes I just think if i can go back I might be able to stop this from happening, but then you realize that there is nothing you can possibly do to change this.

You're useless.


It was summer the best three months of a kids life. No bed time, no worries, no care in the world just you and the hot beach days the family vacations and nothing but happy memories. But that's not how it was for me. My great grandpa was someone who i loved with all my heart and he loved me the same if not more he reminds me of a good book with his stories that he used to tell me. Once he got started you couldn't walk away you were sucked in. I miss those days when I would come over watch a couple football games and he would sit and listen to him tell me stories.


This happens to all of us. For some people it happens too early. That is what happened to me, everyone knew it was gonna happen that he was going to a new place but i wasn’t ready to accept it I felt like he wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to loose him have him. He was my great grandpa and i didn't want to loose him he was too close to me. People like him should never die they should live forever and be here to guide you.


But that's not how it works right? You get used to having this person around and in a split second when you least expect it.They are ripped from your life and taken to somewhere that you hope exists but you really don't know for sure.


Gone forever.


Never there to guide you and you can't talk to them again no matter how bad you want to you can't take them back. You don't know how much i would give, whatever the price I would find a way to sit down and watch one last football game, have one last conversation, have him teach me one more time. You know a lot of people didn't get him. I did. People just didn't take the time to listen to him. If you would just sit down and listen to the words he is was saying could help you even if he sometimes was a little rude he didn't mean to be and that's what people didn't get.


I remember he would always tell me,“God has a place for you Tyler.” When I lost him i kept asking myself why. I questioned everything that was happening. If God really has a place for everyone then why did he take the person that knew my place before I even got to sit down and think where mine was. He has been gone for almost 3 years but i still don't forget about him. I think about him whenever i'm having a rough time. I remember how much love he would give me and how I could always ask him questions even when I could see that he was tired he would always ask if I needed anything and no matter what I could always count on him. People like him you can never forget. My great grandma knows that he has his place in heaven everyone knows that papo has his spot. I remember seeing him laying in the hospital bed and he couldn’t open his eyes he was tired.


He would lie there silent and still he didn't have the strength to lift himself. When he did open them his eyes were baggy and they were too heavy so he would close them. He could barely talk but he could hear everything. When I walked in and he heard my voice he tried his hardest to open his eyes. But he couldn't and I sat there and watched as a tear trickled down his cheek. It was hard for me to keep from crying. So many questions and emotions flowing through me. It was like I  was on a path and didn't know what path to take and  he was leaving he couldn't tell me where to go anymore. I couldn't keep from crying so I just let it all out and I could see the sadness on his face I could see the pain he was in and he was ready to claim his spot and it wasn't my right to make him stay. People today lose loved ones everyday.


People sometimes take people like this for granted. That’s what I did. I counted on him being there forever and could always count on him, but now he is gone, and I have to answer my own questions and take responsibility for my actions. So when you have someone like that take my advice and cherish every moment you have with them because in the blink of an eye you could lose them. Take it from me, there is no feeling worse than feeling alone, afraid and having so many questions with no answers. I had to learn that the hard way and I couldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy. So live life to its fullest and cherish those special people in your life and never take others for granted. I hope my story helps those who need something to read to help with the pain because I needed help and had no one to turn to because I always turned to him.

 

I love you Papo I hope you found your place in heaven.






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