When I was about 14 I learned something blew my life out of the water.
Mom: your grandpa went to the doctor today and we got bad news
Kids: what is it
Mom: he has lung cancer!
In that instant I could suddenly feel my heart beat faster and faster in my chest. I could see the distraught look on my mom's face. When she told us, the room got silent,so silent that you could hear it when someone swallows.
I knew that my grandpa's health wasn't the best, he had heart surgery and smoked which didn't help. This news was hard to hear because I was close to my grandpa. I thought no problem my grandpa can beat this but I didn't really know how because I didn't really believe in the whole chemo thing I just said that because I wanted to believe that he could beat it. I remember telling myself he can do this he's got this but I never really thought chemo was going to help him I thought if he was going to beat this it would have to be from something else.
He tried to hide how sick he was but I could see in his face that he knew how sick he really was. My grandpa liked to go to the casino a lot and when he got sick he stopped going which I never thought in a million years would happen he was the type of guy that was admiringly up at 6 in morning and he would get what he needed done so then he could go to the casino and spend hours there and he suddenly stopped but I think he stopped going to the casino because he knew that he was really sick and he wanted to spend time with family but he didn't want us to know how sick he really was.
His last half a year to year was ok he was not as active as he usually was but he tried to get out of the house and he tried to come out of his room to see us when we would come over but sometimes he would just be tired or to out of breath to leave the room or coughing up blood to try and breath. The worst part was when he would apologize because he wanted to make the best effort to be with us more but he couldn't control the fact that every time he sat up out of his bed or stood up he would cough so much that he would cough up blood.
He hated the fact that he had to walk around with a oxygen tank because he couldn't breath on his own let alone walk around. Knowing that he couldn't walk around on his own he would still try because ever since he was a kid he has had to do everything for himself because he was poor and he came from that life and made something of himself just to get stuck with cancer and not be able to take care of his family anymore which he had been doing since he met my grandma he always told her she didn't have to work he would take care of it.
He would get really irritable sometimes when my grandma would try and help him with things because he wanted to do it for himself and that wasn't him at all he was always really nice and he would always help people out even if he wasn't doing the best himself. I miss when he would take us driving and let us drive his car. He was really patient with us kids whether he was angry or not and chemo made him more angry he never got rude with us kids but he would just get angry with other adult and that wasn't him he was always respectful and you could be in his face screaming but he would still talk to you with respect but after chemo that changed.